Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I'm back!
Just wanted to update to say that the ball is rolling and I am on my way to being officially "matched" with a wonderful local couple :) I can't wait to share their information and to begin this new journey!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Guilt
Ok, so knowing what I know about the emotional roller coaster we all call surrogacy, why do I feel so guilty? Why is it that when you meet someone that has a sad story (because let's face it people, everyone looking for a surrogate has one!), but they either don't fit the "mold" of who you would like to help, or you just don't feel a connection, you feel guilty for saying no? I know it feels personal, but it truly isn't supposed to be personal! Simply agreeing to meet a couple to see if you have a connection shouldn't mean that you are saying YES, right? It means that you are meeting to see if you have a connection. And if you don't, then you should have the freedom to say "I'm sorry, but we don't have a connection".
So why the guilt???
Thursday, July 1, 2010
A new beginning, perhaps?
I'm not sure that we still have any followers, but I thought I would quickly post to say that I am in the process of beginning yet another journey! I am not currently matched with anyone right now, but am slowly beginning the process of finding another couple/family to work with.
My last journey with D&A was such a remarkable experience that I am excited about the prospect of doing it all over again :)
I will post something a bit later, when I have some news to report. But for now, keep me in your thoughts & prayers as I am prayerfully stepping into a new beginning!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Emma's birth as I recall it.......
This is Allison~
This is a long overdue post. I've been meaning to do it for weeks, but am just now getting around to doing it. Time as I previously knew it is no more, lol. But I wouldn't change a single thing.
Ok, I'm going to try to recall as much about the birth as I can, seeing as how it's been almost 10 weeks, bear with me. :) (10 WEEKS? Holy crap!)
The night before the scheduled induction I slept pretty light. I just kept thinking, what if the alarm doesn't go off or something. The plan was for Jenn to call the hospital around 4am to see if they still had a room for us. She texted me around 4am and said we were still on track to be at the hospital at 5:30. So, Doug and I got up around 6 and got to the hospital at 8am. When we walked in, there was someone in the room that I didn't recognize. Jenn said, surprise! She had arranged for one of her friends, Kelley, to photograph pictures for us of the birth. What a wonderful surprise. I never even thought to do something like that. Thankfully Jenn thinks for the both of us sometimes, lol.
I can't remember exactly when Jenn started on the pitocin. It may have been before we got there, I'm thinking she was hooked up by the time we got there, but not positive. I'm thinking she got her epidural around 9:45 and then they broke her water right after that. She was still at a 1 or 2 at this point. Jenn started getting nauseous at one point, so they gave her one of the anti-nausea drugs (cannot think of the name). I think this is what made her sleepy. She was in and out for hours. We all just hung out, walked around, went to the cafeteria, etc. Kelley was having a party at her house that evening and we were starting to get worried that she may have to leave and miss the birth.
I think around 4pm things started progressing and quickly. Things started happening so fast. I guess sometime after 5 or so, several people came in and were getting things set up. So Doug and I took our places. Doug was on one side of the bed behind Jenn and I was right in front of him. Karole (our nurse) was on the other side of the bed getting things prepared. Then Dr R came in and sat down on the bed. It all seemed so relaxed and surreal. Then, Karole said, grab that leg and just follow what I do. I was like, what? I had no idea I was going to be doing that, but was glad to help out any way I could. Before we got started Jenn looked up and me and we were holding hands tightly and she started crying and closed her eyes. Of course that made me cry as well. Then she started pushing. She did such a wonderful job. I think she may have pushed a total of 3 times and little Emma came out. It brings tears to my eyes right now thinking of it. Our little tiny dream was finally born. I couldn't hardly believe it even though I was there witnessing it. It's just such an odd feeling that we had gone through this whole process for about 2 yrs and now we were seeing the final prize, our precious little baby girl. They laid Emma on Jenn's tummy and what came next shocked me to pieces. Let me give a little background on what I'm fixing to go into. Jenn had been telling Doug and I that Dr R makes the daddy cut the cord. Well, Doug was having nothing to do with that. He felt he was doing all of his part by just being in the room. Well, as we got closer to the birth, Jenn mentioned it again and he said no, I'm not doing it. Doug left the room a little later and Jenn and I talked about it and she said she would suggest he and I both cut it together, just for pictures. He came back in and she asked and he said, ok, I can do that. Ok, so back to the birth........while Emma was on Jenn's tummy, Dr R was handing me the scissors and Doug almost pushed me out of the way and said, here, let me do it. I couldn't believe it. I burst into tears right there and hugged him when he finished. It touched me so much that he would do it since he had been so very adament earlier that he didn't want to.
After that, they took Emma to clean her up while Doug and I moved over to the other side of the room next to her to watch everything. I was in total awe and crying. It was just unbelievable that our little girl was finally here after two years of waiting. Then all of a sudden, Dr R turned around and said, are you ready? I had no idea what he was talking about. Then he started singing and everyone else chimed in, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Emma, Happy Birthday to you! I was in tears I couldn't even sing. It was just an amazing moment. Once they finished cleaning Emma up, they swaddled her and handed her to me. Then I gave her to Doug. I loved seeing him hold her, it just melted my heart.
Our plan was for me to stay in the hospital with Emma and Jenn until Emma was released. I loved that time with both Jenn and Emma. I went out and got late meals for Jenn and I when we were hungry late in the evening. Fun times. :)
I cannot begin to thank Jenn enough for what she has done for my family. It's an amazing miracle and I will always be in awe.
What started out as a dream, became a reality. Thank you Jenn from the bottom of my heart. You are so very dear to me.
This is a long overdue post. I've been meaning to do it for weeks, but am just now getting around to doing it. Time as I previously knew it is no more, lol. But I wouldn't change a single thing.
Ok, I'm going to try to recall as much about the birth as I can, seeing as how it's been almost 10 weeks, bear with me. :) (10 WEEKS? Holy crap!)
The night before the scheduled induction I slept pretty light. I just kept thinking, what if the alarm doesn't go off or something. The plan was for Jenn to call the hospital around 4am to see if they still had a room for us. She texted me around 4am and said we were still on track to be at the hospital at 5:30. So, Doug and I got up around 6 and got to the hospital at 8am. When we walked in, there was someone in the room that I didn't recognize. Jenn said, surprise! She had arranged for one of her friends, Kelley, to photograph pictures for us of the birth. What a wonderful surprise. I never even thought to do something like that. Thankfully Jenn thinks for the both of us sometimes, lol.
I can't remember exactly when Jenn started on the pitocin. It may have been before we got there, I'm thinking she was hooked up by the time we got there, but not positive. I'm thinking she got her epidural around 9:45 and then they broke her water right after that. She was still at a 1 or 2 at this point. Jenn started getting nauseous at one point, so they gave her one of the anti-nausea drugs (cannot think of the name). I think this is what made her sleepy. She was in and out for hours. We all just hung out, walked around, went to the cafeteria, etc. Kelley was having a party at her house that evening and we were starting to get worried that she may have to leave and miss the birth.
I think around 4pm things started progressing and quickly. Things started happening so fast. I guess sometime after 5 or so, several people came in and were getting things set up. So Doug and I took our places. Doug was on one side of the bed behind Jenn and I was right in front of him. Karole (our nurse) was on the other side of the bed getting things prepared. Then Dr R came in and sat down on the bed. It all seemed so relaxed and surreal. Then, Karole said, grab that leg and just follow what I do. I was like, what? I had no idea I was going to be doing that, but was glad to help out any way I could. Before we got started Jenn looked up and me and we were holding hands tightly and she started crying and closed her eyes. Of course that made me cry as well. Then she started pushing. She did such a wonderful job. I think she may have pushed a total of 3 times and little Emma came out. It brings tears to my eyes right now thinking of it. Our little tiny dream was finally born. I couldn't hardly believe it even though I was there witnessing it. It's just such an odd feeling that we had gone through this whole process for about 2 yrs and now we were seeing the final prize, our precious little baby girl. They laid Emma on Jenn's tummy and what came next shocked me to pieces. Let me give a little background on what I'm fixing to go into. Jenn had been telling Doug and I that Dr R makes the daddy cut the cord. Well, Doug was having nothing to do with that. He felt he was doing all of his part by just being in the room. Well, as we got closer to the birth, Jenn mentioned it again and he said no, I'm not doing it. Doug left the room a little later and Jenn and I talked about it and she said she would suggest he and I both cut it together, just for pictures. He came back in and she asked and he said, ok, I can do that. Ok, so back to the birth........while Emma was on Jenn's tummy, Dr R was handing me the scissors and Doug almost pushed me out of the way and said, here, let me do it. I couldn't believe it. I burst into tears right there and hugged him when he finished. It touched me so much that he would do it since he had been so very adament earlier that he didn't want to.
After that, they took Emma to clean her up while Doug and I moved over to the other side of the room next to her to watch everything. I was in total awe and crying. It was just unbelievable that our little girl was finally here after two years of waiting. Then all of a sudden, Dr R turned around and said, are you ready? I had no idea what he was talking about. Then he started singing and everyone else chimed in, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Emma, Happy Birthday to you! I was in tears I couldn't even sing. It was just an amazing moment. Once they finished cleaning Emma up, they swaddled her and handed her to me. Then I gave her to Doug. I loved seeing him hold her, it just melted my heart.
Our plan was for me to stay in the hospital with Emma and Jenn until Emma was released. I loved that time with both Jenn and Emma. I went out and got late meals for Jenn and I when we were hungry late in the evening. Fun times. :)
I cannot begin to thank Jenn enough for what she has done for my family. It's an amazing miracle and I will always be in awe.
What started out as a dream, became a reality. Thank you Jenn from the bottom of my heart. You are so very dear to me.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
k|d loftis photography
I wanted to give a shout-out to Kelley Loftis for creating a beautiful photo montage for us! Kelley is a local photographer that attended Emma's birth a few weeks ago - and this is the result :)
Kelley, thank you for this beautiful gift!!!
Click the link above to view the montage, and enjoy!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
2 weeks 2 days...already!
I was just commenting to Allison that when I was pregnant, 2 weeks seemed like an eternity (think 37 week appt with the OB and he says, NO to inducing you, even tho you are suffering with major heartburn, sleeplessness, constant contractions, and incontinence when you sneeze or cough or have just walked out of the bathroom!). But now that she is here, time is flying! Wonder why that is?!?
Anyway, here are some new pics of the little princess :) I got to visit (and snuggle) today, so of course, I took a few pictures!
Yes, she is smiling! No, its not gas!!
This one is a little odd because its a self-portrait, taken with my iPhone. But it is decent enough to post.
She was awake more than asleep today, even tho the next 2 pics are of her sleeping :)
Allison, you have a beautiful little girl! Good thing she looks like you ;-)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
More Emma....
This is Jenn, and words cannot express the love I have for this family! I am truly blessed beyond words to have been a part of this wonderful miracle, and am in awe of this beautiful little girl :)
Allison, I cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate you & Doug! Thank you for allowing me the honor & privilege of carrying this little girl on your behalf, and for allowing me the opportunity to be a part of your family. I am humbled beyond words. I will never forget the moment right before her birth, and the moments right afterward - seeing you & Doug become parents in a matter of seconds - wow!!! I love you all so very much!!
6 days old :)
Getting a good stretch
She's such a little snuggle bug!
I think she was a little irritated at me - I took several
pics before this one, with the flash :)
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