Hi Everyone!I know this might seem relatively impersonal, but it’s the best way I know to let friends & family know about a big occurrence in our lives, without having to make multiple phone calls and repeating myself over & over again :) So, please forgive the informality, and don’t take my lack of personal contact as anything but my having too many things preventing me from making lengthy phone calls to everyone individually.
So, I guess the only way to say it, is to say it…I am going to be a surrogate! A Gestational Surrogate to be more specific.
Ok, now for the why’s and how’s…back in July, Michael & I started talking about the world of surrogacy and decided to investigate further. I had actually thought about how wonderful it would be to be a surro to someone, but never mentioned it to Michael since I figured he wouldn’t ever go for it. But, when he asked me if I’d ever considered it, out of the blue, I figured that maybe “someone” was trying to get my attention. So, after several weeks of researching, praying, talking, praying and researching some more, we decided that we were feeling a definite “tug” this direction and figured we’d take the plunge, then see what happened. I posted an “ad” about myself on a surrogacy website, and literally within hours had an email from someone living in nearby
After several months of medical testing, contract negotiations, a psychological evaluation (required by the state of TX for all surrogates) and more medical testing, we have finalized & signed our contract, and will be heading to court for the final “filing” on Friday the 16th. Once the judge gives us the PBO (pre-birth order giving them full legal responsibility for the baby), we will be working toward our embryo transfer around 2/13 or 2/15! I will begin my meds this coming Sunday the 11th, which will include anti-biotics to “clean” my system of any possible bacterial infections, taking several different hormone therapies which will include some injections (all very low-dose and temporary), and will be preparing my uterus for the 2 embryos we will transfer in just weeks. These embryos are in no way connected to Michael & I, as they are Allison’s eggs and Doug’s sperm. This baby will be 100% theirs in every way. Let me emphasize that I AM NOT GIVING AWAY MY BABY!! As odd as that statement is, that is literally the first thing that everyone asks me, so I wanted to get that out there :)
Another question I’ve been asked is why? I don’t really have a simple answer, but to try to simplify it, what better gift could I give to another couple than to help them start a family? Allison has kidney disease and has been told that if she tried to carry a pregnancy, it would probably kill her. So, the only way they can have a family that is biologically theirs is to do so via IVF and surrogacy. She said that they have considered adoption, but just didn’t feel “excited” about it. They truly want a child that carries their DNA. She said that they may consider adoption at some point, but for now, this is the path that they have chosen to travel. And, by God’s grace, we are hoping to make this journey with them! We are all very excited about what lies ahead and are praying for a successful first-round transfer that would result in pregnancy on the first try! That said, we are prepared to make several attempts via IVF and are praying for God’s perfect will to be done.
And yes, the kids are all on-board! We talked to them a very long time ago about this and received their approval. We explained that we would be “helping a mommy with a sick tummy that cannot have her own baby” by putting their baby into my tummy to grow. Alex thought this whole concept was very cool, and while Morgann didn’t exactly “get it” at first, she now seems to understand and is excited. For Ian, it hasn’t really registered since he is only 4, but we have frequent discussions with the kiddos and everyone cannot wait to see Mr. Doug’s and Ms. Allison’s baby be born :) The kids have met Doug & Allison and really love them – Doug & Allison even sent Christmas gifts for them! We have all really meshed our families together and feel very blessed to be making this journey side-by-side.
For me, I am simply thrilled that they live nearby. This will allow Allison the chance to experience pregnancy through me, without having all of the negatives that go along with it (morning sickness, indigestion, sleeplessness, etc.). Allison will be attending all of the doctor’s appointment throughout the pregnancy, and both she & Doug will attend the birth of their sweet little boy or girl (or both?). We have all discussed our expectations and hopes and truly feel that God brought us together. Regardless of what happens down the road, we know we will be life-long friends.
So, this is a very condensed version of something that has been in the works for more than 6 months. Please keep us all in your prayers, as we know that the coming weeks are going to be very emotional and exciting. We truly want God’s absolute best, and are praying for a healthy baby/babies by the end of 2009!!
Blessings to you!
Much love ~ Jennifer & Michael
GS to Allison & Doug