Thursday, February 26, 2009

God had a different thought today

This is Allison

Well, God's timing is not ours is it? I'm realizing that more and more every day as we progress in this journey. Often we throw temper tantrums and say..."I want it now!". Well, I've said that for weeks now and it's just not His timing. I'm referring to my U/S and bloodwork today. Half good news/half bad. My lining was thinner (good), the progesterone was low (good), but the estrogen was out the roof (bad). So, he is having me quadruple my Lupron intake. Holy moly! I wish they would have thought of this weeks ago, but here we are. I know there's a reason from above as to why it hasn't happened yet, but I just don't know what it is. And that's ok, I know it's for our own good.

I'm not as drastically upset as I was last week. I guess I'm coming to terms with "waiting". :) I know we're going to have a baby/babies sometime and it's all going to work out wonderfully. I'm trying to "rest" in the peace that I'm feeling right now.

Thanks again to everyone for all of the support and prayers. They mean the world to Jenn and I. And I'm so thankful for Jenn with her patience during all of this as well. I love you bunches girl!

Oh, and by the way, my hubby wasn't thrilled about the quadripling of the Lupron. He says I've been a "pill" on just the low dose I'm currently on. I think he might steer clear of me while I'm on it. Poor thing. Maybe he needs a few prayers for his sanity as well. :)

I'm outta here

Our First Award...I Think?!?

Thanks to Ethan, Zach & Emma's mom for this beautiful award. I believe it might be our first!

And, in the spirit of playing by the rules, I will list my nominations here, in no particular order, mind you!:
1. Mommy Stories
2. Eliza Jane
3. Notes on a Napkin
5. It's Almost Naptime!!
(and because I cannot choose only 5!)
6. Meet me at the Clubhouse
7. Where one day runs into another....

These blogs are all written by ladies that have become dear "friends" of mine, some I have met and some I have not. But, they all are a great support to both Allison & I as we continue our journey together, through surrogacy. You all have offered so much support & prayer for us, I cannot tell you how grateful we truly are to each of you :)

So now, here are the rules as dictated by our lovely benefactor:
1. Put the logo on your blog post.
2. Nominate at least 5 blogs that show great attitude/gratitude.
3. Be sure to link your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blogs.
5. Share the love; link this post to the person that nominated you for this award!

Ok ladies, go out and pay it forward...share the love!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Praying for a Good Week!

This is Jenn:

Its Monday morning, and I am exhausted, but hopeful that both Allison & I will have good reports this week from the doctor! My appt is at 10:30, and as soon as the bus comes for Morgann, I will be jumping into the shower.

Like Allison said, I am going in for a quick check, to be sure that everything (with me) is in order and going well. I've been in a holding-pattern for the last 3 weeks, but on meds (Lupron and estrogen patches) for the last 6 weeks. Week before last, I started having some discomfort in my lower abdomen, then last week it intensified a little more. It has only been off & on, and not constant, but with my history of ovarian cysts, it has started to worry me a bit. So, when Allison was told last week that she would have to continue on the same course for another week, I figured it was time for me to ask for a check-up to be sure that everything is OK. The last thing we need is for her to finally be on track hormonally, only for me to cause more delays!

So, we are crossing our fingers and praying for a good report for me today. I will update more when I get home this afternoon. The bus just arrived, so I am off to the showers :)

Thanks for your prayers!!!


My appointment went really well this morning, ending with good news - my ovaries look great, my uterine lining is nice & think (TMI?), and with the exception of waiting on blood work results, all seems well!


Just got the call from the IVF clinic that my estrogen level is right on-target and that everything with me is A-OK :) Barb, the nurse, said that she is expecting that everything should finally be settling with Allison's hormone levels this week (she actually said a spike in estrogen & progesterone isn't all that uncommon and they've dealt with this allot in the past), so if we get the good news we are all waiting for on Thursday after A's appointment, we will be on-target for a 2nd week of March transfer - probably around the date of my SIL's bridal shower that I am supposed to be co-hostessing :) Oh well!!! I'll forgo the shower to get pregnant...

Keep praying everyone! I really believe that this is going to be OUR week - finally!!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Doing much better

This is Allison

Well, it's Saturday morning and I'll feeling much more encouraged. I am so thankful for all of the comforting words and passages you all have passed my/our way. It really means so much to me. And I can't say enough about Jenn's unwaivering support and just being a tremendous blessing to my soul during this little downward dip that I experienced the other day. Thanks Jenn!

To update on the emotional day on Thursday, I was able to speak to the nurse yesterday very candidly about my concerns. She was very understanding and informed me that the emotional spikes I'm feeling are very "real" and are mostly a result of the Lupron. She let me know that she would speak to the doctor about my issues and would let me know something around lunch. Well, it was 3:30 and I still hadn't heard from her. I e-mailed, then left the office. Once I opened my e-mail at home, she had replied saying that the doctor was hopeful that I would be ready next week. He said that although my estrogen flared, my progesterone dropped; therefore he came to the conclusion that things are resolving themselves on their own, which is what he has wanted all along. This news has lightened my burdened heart and has made me feel much better. Just the unknown is always hard to deal with (especially when your hormones are all over the place :))

Jenn also has an appt Monday to make sure she is doing ok because they don't want to get me on track and her not be ready. Jenn you can expand on this if you'd like.....:)

I know we will be parents either by the end of this year or early next year and I'm just so excited to get it going and start the journey of seeing Jenn carrying our baby. I know it's all in God's timing, but sometimes it's hard to ride the storm out. That's precisely why I am so appreciative of everyone's prayers for us. It's nice that others can be strong for us when we feel so weak and that the Lord can comfort our hearts when we let Him (I know I need to work on this part).

Hopefully next week we'll have some great news and we'll be right on track.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future".

This is what keeps coming to my mind tonight as I mull over the events of the day. I will stand on this scripture as we continue this journey together :)

Love you Allison :)

Been an emotional day

This is Allison

First I want to thank Jenn for being such a special friend and "always" knowing the right thing to say to make things better. You're awesome and I love you for it!

I'll just copy the e-mail I wrote to Jenn this morning after the doctor's appointment (with a little editing). Then I'll update below that.

Well……I’m a little depressed, upset, aggravated, emotionally drained, anxious, scared, nervous, etc………….all of the above. Dr McKenzie did the ultrasound again (which I had e-mailed Barb at the beginning of the week and she said she would put Dr Hickman on there specifically). But, not a big deal. So, she said she still saw cysts, but they could be the ones from last time. She said that my lining was kind of thick, which makes her think they are producing estrogen. She said the lining last week with my estrogen being 77 was 3.5. She said the lining today was 7.4. So, she said she wasn’t very optimistic, but she said she could be wrong. I almost cried right there. Geez. She also said that one thing that was a positive for me is that from her experience, women with cyst issues always seem to respond very well to the stimming meds, but getting them suppressed was the issue. So that was encouraging to hear. I said, what can we do to get this fixed, I mean, I’m coming in every week and nothing is changing. She said, probably what they would do is double my lupron amount and hopefully that will work if the estrogen and progesterone were not low enough today. SIGH.

So, on top of that………when I got to the check out counter, normally I just hand them my sheet and they say, ok, you’re done. Well, this time, the lady said, ok, it’ll be $280.00 from last week. I said, what? She said, did you come in for a suppression check and were not able to start your meds? I said, well, I’m on the Lupron, but was unable to start the other two because I wasn’t suppressed. She said, yes, then that’s why it’s $280.00. I said, I was told all of these U/S and bloodwork was included in the lump sum amount we’ve already paid (which wasn't cheap!). She said, well it is, but if you’re unable to start your meds, that is not included. I was pissed. I mean, crap, does all that money we've already paid not count for anything? Really? I know I should just get over it, but it just put me over the edge. Then I said, so, if I’m unable to start meds again after today, today’s visit is also $280.00???? She said, yes. ERRRRRRRR. And I KNOW it’s all worth it, I totally know that. I guess it’s just everything happening, the waiting, the money, the emotions, etc. It’s now getting to me. I need to step back, breathe deeply and let it go. I know that, but it’s hard to do when you’re in the middle of it. I know you know where I’m coming from, it’s just your situations are a little different. Just like the accident with Michael’s car. I’m sure it’s hard to try to find peace in the midst of all that. I know I need to count on the Lord and let him take the burden……..please pray for me.

I called Doug after the appointment and told him about what happened and he said he was sorry and that everything will be ok. Then he said something that set me off, so I got off the phone and cried all the way to work. I should have just kept driving and went home, but I have tons to do here. Maybe it will take my mind off of it. AND just maybe, Andrea will call at lunch time today and have good news. There’s still the possibility. Please Lord.

And on top of all that, I’ve been bleeding for 11 days now. Blah!!!!

Ok, I’m done with complaining and whining. I just needed to get it out though. Sorry it had to be unleashed on you, but hopefully you have the right words to say to me, because you always seem to.

I’m trying to hide in my cubicle so no one can see the freaking alligator tears welling up in my eyes. GEEZ, I’m a mess! Today’s gonna be a long day. I think I need a drink.

Thanks for being there and hopefully this thing can get going and stop being delayed.

Ok, the update after all of that whining is that I got a voicemail during lunch today from Andrea saying that the estrogen was now elevated again, but nothing about the progesterone. She said to continue with the Lupron and come back next Thursday at 7:30. UGH. My first thoughts are, how long do we keep doing this dance?? Really.......since now it's almost $300 each time this doesn't work. I'm going to talk to Barb tomorrow and see what the deal is. I'm now wondering why they aren't increasing my Lupron. There may be a reason, but I want to know it. I need to know that something is eventually going to happen and I'm not gonna just keep coming every week to hear, your estrogen is high or your estrogen is low, but your progesterone is high. Something has to give, in my opinion.

I'm better now, but was just upset most of the day. I've now let it go and am just hoping I can get some encouraging information tomorrow.

Thanks everyone for the prayers, they are much needed and much appreciated. Sorry to rant and complain so much, I guess it's the Lupron. At least that's what I'm blaming it on. :)

Special Request

This is Jenn:

Can you all say a special prayer for Allison today? Suffice it to say that she needs them :) And maybe a few hugs too... There is no "news" to report yet, but emotionally, she needs a little extra support.

A ~ you know I love you and everything will work out, eventually!!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


This is Allison

Tonight was different than all of the other nights of injecting myself with Lupron. That's because Dougie did it. :) I think I mentioned before my reservations I have about him giving me the trigger shot, so I thought I would see if he wanted to get some practice. I know it's way early, but practice makes perfect doesn't it? When I yelled out to him from the kitchen to see if he wanted to come give me the shot, I really did not expect him to say "sure." But he did. So, I explained to him to just do a quick flick of the wrist and not "jab" it in hard. I pinched my inch (trust me, I can get more than an inch - but that's another topic I ain't talking about) and he injected it. He pulled back a little too far, but he did ok with it. I actually didn't even feel it. But I had to be a little dramatic and say, "ouch" and he looked like he felt so bad. He said, I'm sorry, did I do it wrong. Then I said, no, but you did pull back a little far, but I didn't feel it.

It was kinda sweet in a weird kinda way. :) At least he's taking some little part in us getting to our end result. When he finished with the shot, he gave me a sweet kiss and a big ole hug. I love that feller!

Anyone reading: Please extra prayers for my U/S and bloodwork Thursday. Estrogen and progesterone need to be low.

Thanks everyone........

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Can't Catch a Break

This is Allison

Today was my follow up U/S to see if the small cysts they saw on my ovaries last week were still there and if my estrogen was lower than 80. I still had the cysts and my estrogen ended up being 77. So, they made me an appointment for Friday to aspirate (drain) them and I was told to begin the stimulation meds on Saturday. It appeared we were still on track.

UNTIL.........I left work and opened my cell phone to call my hubby and I had a voicemail. It was the nurse calling me back to say that the doctor also requested the lab to check my progesterone level just to see where it was. You guessed it. Elevated. Great!!! Now there is no cyst aspiration appointment for Friday (which would have been perfect because it was my Friday off) and no starting of the stimming meds on Saturday. URG!!!! They said I couldn't start the stimming meds because of my progesterone being too high, which would cause the meds not to work. Lovely. So, I called her back and left a voicemail to see if they could just go ahead and do the cyst procedure since it's my day off. I mean, why would it matter? Right? Yea, who knows? Hopefully they can do it.

Bottom line: I have a follow up of a follow up U/S next Thursday. And now we're off track by a week I guess.

This process is pushing the definition of patience. :) I know it's all worth it......but come on already, yea?

I'm outta here

Dedication & Celebration

This is Jenn:

DEDICATION: When I remember to give myself my Lupron shot, even while on the phone with a collision center discussing the accident Michael just had!

CELEBRATION: That Allison's doctor's appointment went well, with a good report and a green-light! Will let her fill in details :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Here there are!

A little overwhelming, isn't it?!? I couldn't even begin to tell you what they all are, but I'll take a shot at it (hahahaha!!!) On the left is the sharps container, below is the Prenatal DHA (fish oil) that I will take once pregnancy is confirmed, the little box with a small vial in front of it is the Lupron that I've been shooting up for the last few weeks, the small little vials across the bottom are the PIO shots (progesterone in sesame oil) that Allison mentioned, the little green & yellow bottle is the baby aspirin I take as a blood thinner, the purple boxes to the right are the estrogen patches (Vivelle dots) I have worn for 3 weeks now, across the back are the bags of needles, syringes and extra needles, and to the right is a 2nd sharps container (for when the 1st one fills up!). The 5 prescpription bottles are 2 different antibiotics (1 I've already taken, the other I will take after transfer, I believe), 1 is my Valium (hooray!) for transfer day (and its to relax my uterus, I just get the bonus effect!), and the others are for right before transfer, but I couldn't tell you what they are).

So there you have it! Between Allison & I, we have paid some pharmacist's salary for the next 6 months :)

Monday, February 9, 2009

My injections - my first picture ever - really

This is Allison:

I figured I should get good use of my new camera. That I've had for over 3 weeks now and just last week opened the box. Procrastinator you say? Yes, that's me. Just tonight I learned (by the instruction booklet) how to upload pic's onto my computer. I am so not technology oriented. I hope I'm better at the Moma thing than technology. :)

Here is a pic of the meds that I'll be taking and one that I have already started. The one I'm on now is Lupron (on the left). In the middle beside it is the Menopur. Beside that is the Gonal F. I should be starting both of those Saturday if my Wednesday appointment goes well. Meaning that my estrogen is below 80. Pray!!! Then the nice Sharps Container in the back right along with tons and tons of needles and alcohol wipes. Along with my wooden spoon collection. Geez, why didn't I move that? Then in the very front, lying down, is the trigger shot. This is one of most important shots. I'll take this one at the precise time the clinic determines. This is the shot that tells me to start releasing the eggs or something to that effect. Then the egg retrieval is done within 36 hrs. AND this is the shot that darling Dougie gets to give me. This is the only intramuscular shot I have to receive, while Jenn has to take tons of the PIO for weeks on end. She is such a trooper and I admire her greatly. I have asked Doug several times if he thinks he can give me the shot and he says sure and just seems to blow me off. Yesterday morning I said, I have something really serious to ask you. His eyes bugged out and he got a scared look on his face. I said, do you "really" think you can give me this shot? Seriously? And he looked so relieved and said, uh, yeah!!! I thought something was really wrong. I'll just jab it in your butt. Well, something is going to be really wrong if this shot doesn't get injected properly. I don't really like that he's saying, I'll just "jab" it in your butt. Jab? Isn't that a boxing term??? So...there's something else to pray for too. That I get a good injection by my jabbing husband. Lordy. Sometimes I feel like giving him a left hook and an upper cut. (It must be late, I'm getting silly)

I really can't believe that this time in only 2 weeks could be the egg retrieval and the transfer. Wow, that makes my insides all crazy feeling. I'm so excited. Can you tell?

Jenn, post the pic of your meds too, purty please :)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Its just Me :)

Its Jenn:

Just thought I'd post to say HI! I have nothing new to add to our beautiful diary, but figured I should say something since Allison has occupied the last 3 blog entries :) Not that I am competing because I am sooo NOT competing, but I didn't want anyone to worry about me - because I know you all would be, right?!? And you should just say yes to that know since I'm all pumped up on hormones and everything...I'm just sayin'....

And the headaches are here - gotta love em

This is Allison

Yep, the headaches have shown up. It happened at work right after lunch at my desk while staring endlessly at the computer (as I do every day). I go over to our supply area and grab a few Tylenol packets. Figured I better stock up. I waited 2 hours before I hit the road and came home. Yep, Jenn, you're right......Tylenol doesn't touch it. :)

But it will all be so worth it! I'm better now after closing my eyes for about a 2 hour nap.

Well, that's it's for now......gotta go shoot up, 3rd shot. Who's counting :), not me.

Monday, February 2, 2009

First Day of Lupron - A success

This is Allison

Well, it wasn't bad at all. I got everything ready, put the vial of Lupron in front of me, wiped the top off with a alcohol wipe, wiped the area of injection (fat tummy area), pulled the cover off of the needle, drew the medicine in the needle, then walked over to my hubby so he could watch me. i was holding my shirt with my chin, pinched an inch, and just stood there looking at the site. :) Doug was like.....uh, what's wrong with you? Inject it. So, I just stood there looking at the inch I had pinched. :) And looked and looked and looked. Finally I pushed the needle in. Man, I didn't feel anything. Hallelujah........I'm on my way to making eggs for my baby/babies. Well, trying to get the estrogen down first. Ahhh, sigh of relief. Life is so good. (I'm waiting for the headaches)

Oh, I guess you're not supposed to close the top of the Sharps Container until it's full? Well, guess what? I closed it. I had to pry it open with a knife. Those things can be hazardous if you're not careful.