Thursday, January 29, 2009

She looks normal!! - Continuation of my leap into surrogacy

Hi - This is Allison

Ok, since I received a few reprimands for leaving the story hanging, I'm picking it back up. :)

One day after much research, it really hit me. I wanted to try surrogacy. I felt like this might be our only opportunity to have our own biological children. We had talked of adoption (at this point Doug was willing to consider it since we didn't have many options) but I was very scared of getting close and it falling through like the horror stories I have heard. I talked to Doug about it and I was way more on board than he was. He was on board, but not giddy and all into it like me (I guess that would be because he's a guy). I became obsessed. I searched certain sites where surrogates and intended parents could post ads about themselves and what they were looking for in a match. I never really put an ad out there because I wanted to be the one to find my surrogate instead of them coming to me. I also knew I really wanted someone local. Since I'm not able to carry a child myself, I wanted the next best thing to that. To be close, to be able to attend appointments, to "see" our baby growing in someone's belly, to be able to "feel" it kick (unless Jenn would kick me if I touched her belly-trust me, I'll ask before zooming in). I wanted to be involved in the journey as much as possible. And I wanted to find a friend and develop a lifetime friendship. Many intended parents and surrogates want to keep it almost like a business transaction. And I don't look down on that, everyone is different. I guess some of them do it to keep their emotions out of it, so as not to get attached.

I started getting my feet wet by responding to some of the ads, asking different questions, etc. One day I saw an ad for a girl who lived in SugarLand. I thought I had hit the jackpot. I couldn't believe my good fortune. We e-mailed a few times, then met for lunch. We seemed to agree on most of the major issues and by the time we left the restaurant, we agreed that we both felt this would work out. I was so excited. Long story short, I e-mailed her 5 days later and it took her almost 3 weeks to respond to me. She told me that she had agreed to carry for a friend of hers. I was shocked. I was not expecting that. I wasn't depressed, but I was really down. I just kept thinking, I'll never find anyone else. Never!!

So, I started grazing the ads again. I was addicted. I would check different ones probably every couple of hours. I know what you're thinking.....crazy! Well, you're probably a little right. I don't remember how long it took, but I was searching one site by "Houston". A new person showed up. And she looked normal!!!! Ok, this is where you might also say I'm a little looney. One of my BIGGEST fears in this process was matching up with a NUT. I'm serious. When you start reading some of the message boards about some things that happen and people that other people have come into contact with. Hence my fear. When I saw the picture of Jenn, I thought, I'm getting this girl. My heart started beating fast, I couldn't believe my luck. And she's here in Houston. How perfect!!! So, I sent her a post to her page and she sent me an e-mail not very long after that, probably within an hour. Jenn, tell your part of the story about this too and what you were thinking. I love hearing it.

I thought that I would not find anyone after the first person didn't work out, but you know, I know for "sure" that God allowed that to happen so that I could meet Jenn. I truly and with all my heart believe that. Things have just been so great with our journey so far. I mean, we've had little bumps and hiccups, but nothing even close to being a stumbling block. We have become great friends. We talk every day by e-mail and some by phone. I think we're both e-mail kind of people.

It's just been so great. I couldn't have even hoped for connecting with a better person to carry our child for us. I feel so blessed that Jenn put up a page on the website that I checked frequently. I am truly so grateful for Jenn's giving spirit and I am so confident that our child will be in such good hands (or tummy) with Jenn.

Jenn - You really are my hero, the answer to my dream and I admire you tremendously! I love you!

Allison

3 comments:

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

I think you're right--God knew this was meant to be with the two of you. Thank you for sharing this with all of us!

Jennifer said...

By the way, so glad you finished the story :) I (heart) you :) And I won't backhand you for touching my tummy, I promise!! After all, how else would you feel your little baby kicking around???

Membership Required said...

Isn't He good? He's always got the good ideas! Glad you finished your story. Hugs to all.