Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Introduction - The other half to Jenn in this journey

Hi - This is Allison

Jenn has been so kind as to let me be a contributor to this blog and I'm very appreciative. I'll start by introducing myself and telling just a little about me and how I came to need a surrogate. I am 37 years old and married to my sweet hubby Doug. We live in Katy with Maggie (puppy) and until 3 days ago, Kooky (cat). He's currently missing. Doug and I will be married for 2 years in May. I am originally from NC, moved to Baton Rouge for about 8 years, then back to NC for 1 yr, then Doug dragged me here to Texas. I don't mind, I like it here, but I do miss my family in NC. Doug and I knew we wanted to have children sooner rather than later because of my age. He's just a youngin, but I'm an old lady, according to him. We began our family planning by going to a fertility specialist. The reason we did this is because I have endometriosis. I had been told by my OB doctor years ago that I would probably need a little help in getting pregnant. So, we went to the specialist for the consultation and he brought up the issue of my kidney disease. I have had proteinurina for around 13 yrs now. He told me that he was a little concerned about that and referred me to a pre-conception counselor to go over my medical issues with me. I wasn't able to get in to see the doctor he referred me to until about 2 months later. This appointment would be one that I will never forget. This is the appointment that I was told I should not get pregnant. This is the appointment that reality slapped me right in the face that I would never be able to carry a child. He went over all of the risks to me and to the baby/babies; premature birth, miscarriage, birth abnormalities, kidney function loss, death. Doug was not with me at this particular appointment. One of the last things the doctor said to me was actually a question. He said, "If you and your husband decide to go through with this and get pregnant, is he willing to make a choice between you and your child if need be?" WOE!!! Almost knocked me down. I left his office that night around 6pm and cried most of the way home. When I got home, I told Doug everything the doctor went over with me. Then I said, maybe we should just try it and if God wants me to get pregnant, then it will happen. But right after I said that, I also told him the last thing the doctor asked me. When I told him, he said I am not willing to make that decision. We can't go through with this. He was very supportive and comforted me. I tried not to let it bother me too much since we had another appointment with the specialist to go over the other doctor's recommendation. When we went for that appointment, he suggested either adoption or surrogacy and sent us on our way. I cried almost all the way home again. I felt so guilty and inadequate. Doug had told me from the beginning that he wanted a boy to carry on the Obert name. So, of course there's this pressure to produce a boy for him. Now, I'm in a real pickle, I can't give him a boy or even a girl. I felt horrible. He also had told me early in our relationship that he would never want to adopt. I knew that I would probably have problems getting pregnant, but had no idea that the kidney problem was going to be the deal breaker. He was so supportive and told me we'll deal with it, that we don't have to have children and that he was ok with that. But I was not. It's just normal to have children, doesn't everyone do it? Well, almost everyone. So, we just dropped the subject for a while. A few months later, I remembered that my previous supervisor's daughter had her baby through surrogacy. I really didn't know anything about surrogacy and had no idea what was involved. I called my previous supervisor one night and asked her to tell me about her daughter's surrogacy experience. She gave her daughter my e-mail address and we started chatting back and forth and she was a major help. I also started researching it on the internet and learning more and more about the process. The more I learned, the more I thought, we can do this! This might just work. To be continued............

Ok, I think I'm going to end it there for now. I'll pick up on this story in the not too distant future. I don't want anyone falling asleep (like I do) when reading LONG blogs. Actually any kind of reading puts me to sleep.

I'm going tomorrow for blood work, scan and suppression check. Yippee, I'm excited.

I'm outta here.......

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

Even though I already know the story, I'm on the edge of my seat! How dare you say "to be continued" right at the good part!!!

So glad you jumped on....can't wait to read more :) Love you!!!

Allison said...

Yikes, sorry. You know I'm new at this and I thought maybe I was just rambling. :)

Jennifer said...

How about now??? Oh, and still no Kooky??? He'll show up soon, I just know it!!!

Membership Required said...

oh you left me hanging.....