08/30/09

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2nd Beta Results

This is Allison

Today's beta results were 293. Yippee. This really is happening. I don't think it has fully sank (or sunk?, who knows) in.

I just read Jenn's post about how she's feeling. I hate to hear it, but I'm so very thankful she's giving this miracle to us and suffering through. She's such a trooper! I'm hoping the quesiness goes away really soon.

U/S is scheduled for Sept 8th. :) So excited! Can't wait.....

Surviving the 1st 12 weeks :) Part 1

This is Jenn:

And so it begins...the nausea, the food peculiarities, the lack of energy and full-on exhaustion...its all here!

I wanted a nap today - and yesterday and the day before - but didn't get one. Bedtime has moved from 11PM-ish to 9-ish if I can last that long. Granted, getting up at 6:15 each morning is kicking my "used to sleeping in" butt, but still...2 or more hours difference means I am not getting much accomplished after the kids are in bed. Oh well....

Had to buy my first bit of maternity clothes...yes it is pathetic! I tend to show rather early, and this pregnancy is no different. I can't really say that I have a baby belly yet, but I do have a minor baby pooch that is causing me some trouble. All of my pants are too tight - I can zip and button them, and am fine while in an upright position. Make me sit, and I feel like I'm going to explode! So, I am now the proud owner of 1 pair of maternity capris and 3 maternity t-shirts :)

And then there is chicken...makes me want to gag just thinking about it. Not cooked chicken, but raw chicken. The smell, the look, the...gag!!! I had it on tonight's menu, but its not going to happen. I think I'll be taking what I have already defrosted to my neighbor. She had the same issue when she was pregnant with her last baby and I didn't get it. Never happened to me before...now its happening! And we eat allot of chicken in this house....not sure what I'm going to do now....except wait for the 2nd trimester and hope for the best!

And then there is the other eating issue I seem to be having. Its happened twice, so not sure if this is going to be another "thing" for a bit, or if it was just a fluke - I'll have to get back to you on that. But, the problem you ask? I have a craving for something, sounds super yummy and I cannot let it go; I get it; then I don't want it...anywhere near me. I am suddenly ill and hoping to not lose my stomach's contents in public!

Fun times :)

And I wouldn't trade them for the world!!!! I am so glad to be here and am so not complaining. Just sharing experiences and asking for some prayers :) We're just at the beginning so there's no telling what lies ahead...but I bet its gonna be good!

The call we've all been waiting on.....

This is Allison

or at least the call that me, Doug, Jenn and Michael have been waiting on. And the beta is.......131. SIGH. :) Barb called me at work around 10:30'ish, 11. She said you know the doctors like the beta to be above 50, but I really like it to be above 100. She said yours is 131. YAY!!!! I was so happy. She was telling me the meds that Jenn will change to or take in addition to, etc. To be honest, I really didn't even pay attention to that. Then she said that we need to schedule the U/S. It's 9-8 at 11:30. I can't wait!!! Then she said that she was sure we had one little one in there growing, but not sure about two. She said we really wouldn't know until the U/S. But, her guess is 1. BUT....she did say the beta number doesn't "always" tell whether it's 1 or 2. Normally, but not always. Anyways, I held up during the conversation until she said, go tell Doug he's gonna be a Daddy. I lost it!!!

I truly do want twins. I grew up as an only child and I really wanted to have more than 1. But, we just want whatever we have to be healthy. That is THE most important thing.

I can't wait to hear the heartbeat/heartbeats in two weeks. How exciting. That will truly be an amazing moment. We've waited so long for this to happen and we're both shocked and thrilled and excited. I love it when Doug just randomly says "we're gonna have a baby". It just makes me smile so big.

I've attached a photo that Jenn and Michael took for us. Have I mentioned how glad I am that Jenn's carrying my little bun in her oven????

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I feel like I say that on almost every post, but I truly mean it. Without the support and prayers for everyone along the way, it would have been a much tougher journey. AND it's not over yet. Thanks for sharing it with us!!!

Waiting on Tomorrow

This is Allison ~

Did anyone ever say this ride was gonna be easy? Nope, no they didn't. They were absolutely right. It's easy taking care of all of the steps up until this point. But the waiting, ugh......will seriously make you nuts.

I'm going to be on pins and needles at work tomorrow waiting for that call. The clinic wants the beta to be 50 or above. (Have I already said that in a previous blog?) So, just hoping and praying......I think we definitely have a little bean growing. I was so hoping for two, but thinking now it's only one.

We'll see.........

Help...I've Become Neurotic!!

I can't stop testing...

7dp5dt - Woohoo!

They are getting darker!
(and yes, it is definitely darker; iPhone camera doesn't do the pink lines justice!)

6dp5dt - Part 2

This is the 2nd faint positive that Allison talking about :)
(I know it doesn't look very positive, but if I had a better camera than my iPhone camera, you'd be able to see what I see, which is a faint pink line on the left side - darker than this morning's test for sure!)

I like Roller Coasters......

This is Allison

but this one is the biggest one I've ever been on. Seriously, this testing stuff will make any sane person absolutely certifiably insane. Just come take me away to a padded cell. Like one girl said, the crap with the frozen embryos, freeze me till the beta test. :)

My stomach has been tore up since about Wednesday. My nerves are shot. I'm sure my blood pressure is through the roof. My sanity is on the verge of jumping off the ledge. So much up and down.

Just trying to hold on through this crazy whirlwind of emotions. Now that Jenn has had two faint positives. Everyone says they see it, but I'm not sure I'm really seeing it. It does make me feel better though. BUT, I just don't want to get my hopes WAY up and then it be negative. I'm trying to stay somewhere in the happy middle.

Thanks to everyone for the support and prayers. We have so much support and it makes this journey easier by having that.

Until next time.....I'm holding on tight

6dp5dt

This is Jenn and there is lots happening to me today:

For starters, I did another HPT at 7AM this morning after not getting up to pee AT ALL last night, and this was the result. Its a very, very faint positive :) The circle on the left...the minus sign means negative, but the little verticle line that is very faint - that's a positive! Its hard to see in the picture, but Michael even verified that he saw it!

I have since been instructed not to use EPT since its not as sensitive as Answer & First Response, so I've already run to the pharmacy for a box of each :) Cross your fingers for us everyone!! The positives need to get darker!!!

Then, this afternoon, I started spotting. Of course I freaked out, even though a surro friend had already told me this was considered "normal", but still blood and pregnancy aren't usually a good thing, so I panicked. Talked to the IVF nurse that said it was indeed normal, and it could actually signal a good thing since that means that something is, at least, trying to attach to my uterus :) Another good sign? I certainly hope so!!!

Michael is convinced I'm pregnant, and if things continue on this path, we should have some really good news at Monday's BETA!!!

Because Allison Said I Should Share :)

This is Jenn (again):

Funny thing about these hormones...

I know this will sound utterly ridiculous, considering the HPT results I got earlier today, but my belly is getting big! I've been wondering if its just my imagination, but apparently my pants would agree with my assessment!!

Today I had to run an errand to meet Michael to handle some personal business, so I put on my usually comfy capris. Holy schnikies Batman! I thought I was going to die...they were so stinking tight I could hardly breath, could not sit comfortably, and wanted to undo the button & zipper right there in the middle of the bank! When I got home, I couldn't get them off fast enough, then noticed the dark red line around my mid-section.

And now I'm worried...if I'm not actually pregnant & slightly bloated, I'm going to have to go on a diet...and that just isn't in my plans for this fall!! Geez!!!

4dp Update

This is Jenn, and this will be short & sweet:

...4dp5dt...

...2 HPTs...

...2 negatives...

...Will test again tomorrow...

...Praying that its just too early :(

*4dp5dt = 4 days past a 5 day embryo transfer

Amazing

This is Allison~

Wow, what a truly amazing experience. It was so awesome to see what the dr was doing on the U/S monitor. Right before she released the embryos, she counted. 1, 2, 3....then we saw a little white dot on the screen. That was them. Our two embryos they implanted. I got choked up. I especially got choked up when I heard CJ praying in the background and afterwards. I got choked up when they handed me the embie pic and then the U/S pic of after the transfer. I really almost lost it when the dr was shaking my hand and telling me good luck, hoping for great results, etc. It felt like she talked to me and shook my hand for at least 5 minutes, but I know it wasn't. It was just so special, the whole thing.

If Doug would let me post this one pic of us both holding the pictures, you would get a wonderful laugh. If you don't know already, Doug is not big on emotion. :) So, we have named that pic as Doug's Mug Shot. I'm all smiles and he's holding his pic at his chest and he looks like he's prisoner #2021. He's not smiling or frowning, just looking like he's just been hit by a train. Anyways, we got a good kick out of it.

I spent most of the day at Jenn's today. Her hubby cooked burgers and hot dogs. I did all the fixings, etc. It was a fun day. We just chilled out, talked, etc. I know she's sick of laying around. It gets old after a while. But it's all worth it. It's almost over - the bedrest that is.

Now the fun part. Yea, right, I'm joking. The waiting is going to drive us crazy. I think Jenn is going to do her first HPT sometime on Wednesday. I may need some valium.

Until later.....

Oh, thanks everyone for the comments and prayers! They truly mean so much. It's so awesome that people that we don't even know care about this journey. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support. It means everything......

All Knocked Up...

....and no place to go!

This is Jenn:

Just wanted to give you an update on the morning's events! As Allison mentioned, we had our transfer scheduled for this morning at 9AM, so we were all there...at 8:30. They first took Allison back to discuss the embryo report, then brought the rest of us back a minute or 2 later to re-discuss the embryo report :) In Dr. M's words, they had 1 over achiever (that made it to the "blast" stage) and 3 really strong embies. So, we all agreed to transfer 2, allowing the embryologist to pick the strongest of the 3 to be part of the big day. I have a picture of Allison & Doug and their 2 sweet little babies, but Doug was insistent that I not post his picture, so I'll post a few of me & Allison, and a cropped photo of Doug holding the picture of the embabies that I am now playing hostess to for the next 9 months.

So, I am now on bed rest for the rest of today, and all day tomorrow, and hope to take advantage of getting to rest and do allot of nothing :)

I'm sure I'll have to more to report later. For now, enjoy the photos :)

Twas the night before transfer.....

This is Allison~

and all through the house
everyone was nervous
even my spouse

Ok, I'm done, I'm not a good rhymer. :) But it was funny while it lasted huh? Well, tomorrow is the the BIG DAY. My stomach is in knots. I'm very nervous and have feelings of anxiety. It's almost that same feeling as when you're little and Christmas is coming. But it's even more nerve wracking. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it, but it's hard. This is all that has been on my mind since over a year ago. This is what I've been living and breathing every day for over a year. How do you "not" think about it. :)

I had a great time with Jenn today. We all had lunch first. Then Jenn and I went out and got some groceries and got some gift cards for a couple of places to eat so Michael doesn't have to cook this weekend while she's on bedrest. So, hopefully they have everything they need so she can be comfortable and not worry about things. She'll be on bedrest the remainder of the day tomorrow and then all day Sunday. I hope she enjoys the time to just chill out and relax. :)

Well, we've done everything we could up until this point. It's out of our hands. We just have to have faith at this point that it works and that whatever God's will is will be the outcome. I know some people don't believe in "God's will", etc, but I really do. Sometimes things are just not meant to be. I hope this journey for us IS though. I have to believe that until proven wrong otherwise. One of the hardest things to do is to give up control of something. We have absolutely no control whatsoever. We have done all that we can do right now. But by golly, that doesn't mean I'm not nervous as all get out. I just want it to work. I wanna be a Mommy and I want Doug to be a Daddy. I have to believe it's going to happen. If I didn't believe, what good is faith?

At this point, I think I'm just rambling. :) Tomorrow is going to be an interesting morning. Jenn and I have all of our stuff ready go to. We are wearing the same yellow good luck shirts that I bought us, wearing the same green/yellow socks that Jenn bought us and wearing the same green/yellow bracelets that a friend made for us. We'll be so cute. :) Also I've got my camera ready. If any of you know me, you know I am not a camera person. I've had to pull out my instruction book to even figure out what to do with it. I know, pathetic. But I'm getting there.

I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.......heading to bed in a little while, hoping that I don't toss and turn like I have for the last 4 nights.

Over and out....

Day 3 Update

This is Jenn:

Just wanted to let you all know that we received our phone calls this morning, and our transfer has been moved to Saturday! We were all very excited to hear that we still have 4 beautiful little babies growing right along :)

So, since I've been up since 2:30 this morning, have had all my meds & shots, have unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, am finishing up the last of the laundry for the week, and am fairly wired, I'm trying to come up with something that I can go do with the kiddos that doesn't require an "entrance fee". I'm ready to get away from the house...primarily because if we aren't here, it can't get messed up :)

Fert Report is in

This is Allison~

I got a call from Barb today letting me know how many fertilized. They originally retrieved 16. Out of those 16, only 8 were mature. Out of those 8, only 4 made it through the fertilization process. So, now those four little embies are growing. When I really sit and think about it, our little potential babies are growing and it really hits me.......please Lord let your will be done and sustain the ones that should be sustained. I know it only takes one good one, but I would be over the moon if we were able to transfer 2 excellent embryos into Jenn. That would be my hope. We'll just see.....

We are on the schedule for a Thursday transfer. Even though, we could get a call Thursday morning saying they are going to wait and do a 5 day transfer, which would be Saturday. We just wait and see and just stay "on call". I guess they go by how the embryos are developing and whether they will get to the blast stage.

So, just some more waiting.......:)

I think the 2 week wait will make me go gray!

Update on the Booty :)

This is Jenn:

So, yesterday was my first PIO shot (better known as projesterone in oil). I've been really dreading this one, since its a booger. I have friends that have had this shot, and had lots of pain, swelling, and problems. The nurse even did her best to completely freak me out by telling me all of the possible problems I could have. Thanks, but seriously, I really didn't need to hear all of the negatives!

Ok, the details: This shot is given the upper, outer quadrant of the buttocks, or booty I as call it :) The needle is about a hundred feet long, and thicker than a straw, and the oil that is injected is just that...oil. It doesn't just dissipate into the muscle it is injected into, and it doesn't inject quickly. Oh, and did I mention it goes into the booty muscle?!? Yeah, loads of fun people!!

And OK, maybe its not thicker than a straw, but seriously, its big! Really, really big when you are needle-phobe :(

And in case you are wondering, the needle-phobe is not me...its the one giving the shot in my booty, Michael. He does not like needles....AT ALL! In fact, when we were at the doctor's office for our med teaching visit (where she goes over each med, how & when to take it, how to give the injections, etc.), she whipped out the needle for the PIO shot and Michael almost fainted! She noticed him turning very pale and quicly put it away :) So, how did I end up with him giving me the shots, you ask? Simple...I cannot give them to myself, and no one else can do it for me. It was him, or I'd be making a trip to a nurse-friend's house each & every night for the next 12 weeks - no thanks!

So anyway, back to my story.... Sunday was the first injection; on Saturday I was sitting and thinking about the logistics of it...the fact that it needs to be given around the same time each day...that morning would be better than evening because I can sit on heat througout the day, and moving around will help the oil to absorb slight faster than just shooting up and going to bed for 8 hours. And I suddenly realized that Michael was my only hope - and I got scared. He wasn't thrilled about it either, but after I explained the potential problems of doing it at night, he agreed that a morning shot would definitely be better. Thankfully, one of my other nurse-friends had a "practice butt" that she loaned us to practice on. Tho it is nothing like the real thing, it gave Michael something to use while trying to get the injection pressure just right. When I explained to him that he couldn't just slowly press it into the skin & into the muscle (because that would just really, really hurt), he quickly figured out that this wasn't as easy it might sound. So guess what we spent our Saturday evening doing? Yep, sitting on the bed, playing with needles :)

Sunday morning rolled around and I slept in - or really layed in, since I wasn't really asleep, but wasn't in a big hurry to be impaled. We had someplace to be yesterday, but I was procrastinating. I went to bed dreading the shot, and woke up really dreading the shot. I was scared...plain & simple!

But, wouldn't you be?
(I am trying to insert a picture here, but Blogger is having some trouble, apparently!)

Anyway, after putzing around for about 15 minutes, I finally decided that it was now or never.

We figured that laying flat on the bed would be the most comfortable way to do the injection, since the muscle would be relaxed. I read the directions to Michael, step-by-step, while he very intently filled the syringe to 1/2 cc, rubbed the alcohol swab on my posterior, changed out the needle (it is drawn up through a straw-sized needle, but injected with something slight smaller - emphasis on the word slightly), stretched the skin taught, and counted to 3. I, on the other hand, had my face buried in my pillow, praying that I could lay perfectly still and not squeal.

1...2...3...stab. It was in, and I hardly felt it! I quickly reminded him to asperate (pull up on the syringe just slightly to be sure there was no blood - which would indicate he hit a vein), and then he began injecting...very, very slowly. And then, it was over. He quickly rubbed the spot for a few minutes, applying the necessary pressure, then informed me that he was going to go throw up.

But it was done! He survived it, I survived it, and neither of us passed out :)

Now, only 12 more weeks to go!!!

*Michael did not throw up, by the way. He was my Superman and did a great job!!

ER today

This is Allison~
Well, my part is over. The ER was this morning at 9:15. I was back in the recovery room by 9:35. Everything went fine. It didn't even feel like I was really under, but I'm assuming I was. This same anesthesiologist did my cyst aspiration back in March, so I remembered him. I remember as he said, I'm going to give you some sleepy juice.....I asked, where are you from with your accent? He replied....the Congo. LOL, I have no idea what else he said, I guess I went out.

When I went for my U/S Saturday morning, Dr McKenzie said she only expected to get around maybe 8-9 eggs. That had me a little worried. You hear of people having 20+ a lot of times. Of course those are young girls, I'm on up there at 37. But it still had me a little concerned and I think she could tell that. As she walked out of the room that morning she said, remember, it only takes one good one. That made me feel some better, because that is true.

Well, as I was coming out of the anesthesia this morning, she told me......we got more eggs than we thought we would. We got 16. As she was walking off, tears started falling down my face. I don't think anyone saw me thank goodness because I probably wouldn't have been able to even speak. I'm just so thankful. I'm not saying I necessarily want tons left over, but I want to be able to have the best chances at success as we can. I would love to be able to transfer 2 excellent grade embryos. That would be so good.

Anyways, I got home around 10:30 or so and was feeling fine. Ate lunch and then took a long nap. When I woke up, I was feeling quite crampy, still no bleeding though. It's not "real" bad, just like a crampy cycle. Just taking it easy and catching up on DVR'ed TV. :)

So, now we wait. Thursday would be a 3 day transfer or Saturday would be a 5 day. Guess we just wait on the call at this point. I'm so thrilled to be at this point.

Please Lord let this work and be successful. I want to be a mommy!

Please continue to lift us up. I'm hoping Jenn will post soon about her PIO shots. :)

Trigger Tonight

This is Allison~
YAY, trigger it tonight at 10:45. ER will be Monday morning at 9:15. I'm so glad to be at this point again. But this time feels right and good. Last time there were so many delays and struggles, this time has really just been smooth sailing. But I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but I have to believe this is going to work.

Heading over to a friend's tonight so she can inject me in the booty. Thank goodness for knowing a good nurse. :)

Wednesday's appt

This is Allison ~
Well, another good appointment. The dr said my right ovary is responding very well, but the left is not doing as well, but still good. He was happy with that though. He said my numbers are looking so good that I could be triggering early. Last cycle I triggered on Tuesday, he said this time could be as early as Saturday!!! Wow!!! I'm getting so excited and so is Jenn and so are a bunch of others. Yippee, it's just around the corner.

My next appt is tomorrow morning. Doug also goes in for his FDA testing as well.

Short & Sweet - in Bullet Points ;)

~ This is Jenn

~ Allison & I both had our appointments today, then I had acupuncture.

~ Good news for both of us...she is right on track hormonally...and so am I :)

~ If all goes as planned, Allison will trigger a week from today, ER will happen 2 days later...AND THEN...

~ We will transfer our little embabies on either Sunday morning or Tuesday afternoon...2 weeks from today people!!!

~ Keep the prayers coming...we're sooooooo close!!!

3rd time is the charm

This is Allison ~

Today is only the 3rd day of my additional injections that were added on Saturday. I take Gonal-F in the morning and Menopur and Lupron at night. I'm back into the swing of things with the Menopur, but not quite with the Gonal-F. From what I've heard, most people take the Gonal in pen form - pull the end off, screw on a small needle, prime the pen, turn the clicker to 225 ml, pull back on the pen, inject, push the end and the medicine goes in. Well, last cycle, I didn't have the pens, I just had vials that I withdrew from. This time I do have the pens. So, I'm not quite used to the routine. Again, just my 3rd morning doing it (ok, you would think I would know what to do by now right? can you see where this is headed?). Plus, the previous two days that I gave myself the shot, it was Sat and Sun......ie, no where to go, didn't have to rush, etc.

Not so much today. I had decided this morning as I was watching Big Brother that I would give myself the shot before I went back to the bedroom to finish getting ready. I normally start getting ready around 5:50...well, this morning I was trying to get to the end of Big Brother, so I kept watching and farting around wasting time. Finally I got up and went to get the injection ready. Here's the scenario just as it happened..............

Prime pen
Stick needle in belly - look down and realize, holy crap, I didn't change the clicker to 225 ml
Pull needle out
Change needle
Change clicker to 225
Stick needle in belly - look down and realize, holy crap, I didn't pull back on the nob
Pull needle out
Change needle
Pull back on nob
Insert needle
FINALLY PUSH TO INSERT MEDS INTO MY BELLY

Seriously, what is wrong with me? I thought I was starting to lose it. Now I'm running late and all flustered and can't believe I stuck myself twice for no reason. Whew.......at least it didn't hurt. Oh well, guess you have to laugh at yourself sometimes during this process.

I have my 2nd appointment tomorrow, not sure if I will have U/S or not, but definitely labs. I'm expecting great results.

I'm feeling good about things..........