21 weeks 4 days - Christmas Day!

This is Jenn ~ Was just thinking that Little Squirt will be here this time next year! And I am so appreciative to be a part of such a wonderful miracle!!!

God Bless Us, Everyone :)

We're having a ...................

GIRL!!!!!

Today's appt was awesome! We got a DVD of the U/S. I don't really have the words to explain how I felt when she told us what we were having. It's not the "having a girl" part, it's just that now we "know" what we're having. Now we can say her/she when we're referring to her. :) So exciting. She was moving around so much, the active little sweetie.

Doug's mom went with us to the appt today as well. I was glad she finally met Jenn. We went out for lunch afterwards. It was a nice day, other than the pouring rain. :)

I can't wait until this time next year. Our little girls first Christmas. Awwww.

Todays news was the perfect Birthday and Christmas present. We couldn't be happier!

Allison - happy baby moma to a little sweet girl

Neglectful

Not of the pregnancy, but of the blog :)

This is Jenn ~ I don't really have anything new to report, other than recent developments with heartburn, but really...is that blog-worthy? Probably not! So, I will post a pic from last week, when we hit the 18 week point...which would currently make us 19 weeks 3 days (to be precise).

Next week will bring more news...much more exciting than my heartburn report I think :) Exactly 1 week from today, we will have our BIG ultrasound, which will tell us whether we should be buying pink or blue for Little Squirt! But I am thinking that Allison will be the one with that report...she is the Baby Mama after all :)

15 weeks!

Tomorrow marks the official 15 week point :) I'm doing well for the most part, still tired and having bouts of sleeplessness, but typical pregnancy stuff - nothing major!

Woohoo for progress!!!

And speaking of progress, we hit another milestone on Friday night - for the first time, I felt the baby kick - not just the typical flutter of movement that you feel the first few months, but real movement! It was all on my left side, which tells me Little Squirt is sitting on my left, which also explains the pains I'm always feeling on my left :) But it was exciting to finally feel REAL kicks! Of course, it was wasn't strong enough to feel on the outside of my tummy, but I'm betting we'll reach that milestone before too much longer!

Grow baby grow!!

One box at a time....

This is Allison

Well, I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) unpacking the boxes that we shoved into the closet of what is going to be the nursery. There's at least 25 boxes (that copier paper comes in) in that closet. I think I have unpacked about 8 of them. They have been there since we moved here 2.5 yrs ago. Geez, that's just ridiculous. To be honest, most of them were books, books and more books. Doug's books, my books and tons of kids books that I went on an Ebay shopping spree years ago and bought. I'm so happy I did that now. I got so obsessed with purchasing all of the Little Golden Books. Now I just need to find a small bookshelf to put in the nursery to display them.

Well, I'm going back to unpacking.....maybe I'll get done before May. :)

185 days?????

This is Allison

Wow, everytime I visit the blog, my immediate attention focuses on the baby ticker. So now we're down to 185 days to go. Really??? Wow. Seems unreal. In one sense, it seems like May will take forever to get here when I think of holding my little one in my arms. But on the other hand, when I think of all of the things we need to do......as in, baby room, buying things, going to parenting classes (yes, we need to do this), making decisions about childcare or not, just getting prepared in general..........it seems like we don't really have that much time. Kind of a scary thought. But, people have been doing this for quite a while, so I'm not the first, don't want to make it seem like I'm the only one. LOL. I almost feel like the real progress will start when we find out the gender. Then we can focus on names, theme (if i even have one) and start buying certain items. We should be able to find out the gender the week before Christmas. So, it will be a nice birthday and Christmas present. So very exciting.

I was just thinking the other day how a baby is going to change our lives. I know things will never be the same. But in a good way. A wonderful way. I'm so looking forward to it. Then I started thinking.....I wonder how our Thanksgiving will be next year. How will our Christmas be next year? It's going to be great and amazing. :)

Until next time.....

Little Squirt is Growing!

This is Jenn ~

Today was U/S #3 and, as expected, Allison's little baby is growing right along :) We are measuring 12w5d, which would give us a due date of May 1st - my hubby's birthday. The heart rate was 171 again (I'm still thinking pink) and all of the baby's measurements were perfect! Its still too early to say whether we have a baby boy or a baby girl, but the U/S tech said she saw a little "nub" and she thinks it might be a girl "nub", but we won't know for sure until our 20 week U/S - unless Allison can't stand it and decides we need to visit a stand-alone chain to find out earlier. I'm up for anything at this point - just so very relieved that Baby O is looking good :)

12 Weeks Today!

10/20/09

Such a procratinator....

This is Allison~

I've been meaning to post about our first OB appointment since the day we went. Geez.....I'm a bad bad blogger. LOL

Our first appointment was Sept 25th. I was so excited. I went over to Jenn's so that we could ride together. I secretly love spending any little extra time with her. (Shhhh, don't tell her) LOL. Our appt was at 11:30. Jenn has warned me over and over not to expect him to come in on time and to expect for it to be an all day affair just to be safe. So, I tried to prepare for a long wait. But long waits are ok if you have someone to talk to. So, not so bad. The nurses were great and seemed happy for us. I was very attentive to try and see how others would perceive the surrogacy. The dr came in about an hour after the appt time. Not bad. He basically just talked to Jenn to see how she was, see if we had any questions and to make sure we were all on the same page. What happened next kind of took me aback, but I truly understand. Jenn was talking about her previous pregnancies when she was induced and he immediately said that any decisions like that, who will be in the room during appts, who will be in the room during delivery, etc will all be done according to what Jenn wants. He said that all medical tests and results could be shared, only after she gives permission, etc. At first, I almost felt like he was saying, even though you're the Mom, all decisions about anything to do with the baby are up to Jenn. But I quickly dismissed that feeling. I totally understand that she is his patient and that's what he should be looking out for. And I know that I can't force Jenn to do anything with her body that she isn't in agreement with. And the main thing is that we have went over our feelings concerning different things and I really feel like Jenn and I are on the same page as far as those situations. It just made me feel a little weird for a moment, but like I said, I quickly got over that. If I wouldn't have, it wouldn't have been good. I could possibly have went down a road of resentment toward the doctor and Jenn. And Jenn quickly stated that I would be at probably all of the appointments and she was ok with that. So, I think that once all of that was out in the open, things shouldn't be odd or awkward. Jenn, I hope you aren't offended that I posted this. I felt it was important for other intended moms to know what to possibly expect. I wasn't prepared, but got quickly past the feeling of my emotions rising up. :)

After the appointment, we went to a mexican restaurant. Had a great time. Jenn's youngest son, Ian, was with us. He was being great.

It was a long day, but I had such a good time and I love spending extra time with Jenn. It's fun continuing to get to know her.

Our next appt is the 12wk appt, which is next Thurs, 22nd. YAY

Wow, I can't believe we are 11wks today!!!! SIGH - it's hard to believe.

I'm so very happy. :)

Nite, nite

Pictures & Updates

This is Jenn:

In case you don't see it, the 1st picture has a label in the upper right corner showing a heart rate of 171! An old wives tale would indicate this little baby is a girl...hmmmm..... These photos were taken yesterday of Baby O - we are 8 weeks 3 days today and the baby looks spectacular!

And OK, I've been told that I need to update, so here we go!

Within the last week, I've developed what I lovingly refer to as "night sickness". Its no fun and totally ruins an evening of laying around watching TV :( I haven't actually thrown up tho, so that's a positive right? I just feel like I could/should/would if I didn't concentrate so hard on not doing it. I HATE getting "sick" so I exhaust myself concentrating on not running to the toilet.

And another relatively new development...my eating patterns are totally bizarre too! I have to eat what sounds good, which means that I eat at weird times and in weird combinations. And we have been eating out ALLOT lately too. I have a fridge & freezer full of food, but when it comes time for dinner, what I want is usually not what I have on-hand. So, we've been doing allot of take-out and restaurant hopping. I've discovered (the hard way) that if I eat what is here, or what isn't my 1st choice, I end up feeling very sick. The family is already very tired of Tex-Mex...Alex informed us tonight that if we were going for Mexican, he wanted to take his own turkey & cheese sandwich. Lucky for him he got pizza :)

The other day my meal plan was as follows:
Breakfast - chicken minis & hash browns (from Chick Fil A)
Lunch - Cheetos and a nectarine
Late Lunch - Croissant BLT and a Cherry Limeade (from Sonic)
Dinner - Pappasitos bean soup and Cheetos

On another day I ate an entire pineapple (like the ENTIRE THING!) and a can of Double Noodle-O's soup (yes, the whole thing!). Just totally weird.

A good piece of news is that I stopped my PIO shots today! With a healthy baby and a good report on the ultrasound, the IVF nurse told me that I could stop with the projesterone injections and begin using projesterone suppositories. I'll take gross & inconvenient over the pain of the PIO any day! My poor, red, swollen, knotted-up booty is going to appreciate the reprieve :)

Well, I think that's about all of the "news" I have for now. The baby is growing, I am surviving, and Allison & Doug are parents :) Yep, that about sums it up!!

09/20/09

I'm feeling huge already, and we're only 8 weeks tomorrow!

Introducing........

This is Allison, the wonderfully happy mama tonight

Baby Obert. Today was unbelievable. Today was our 6 week U/S. I think we were all a little nervous and excited all at the same time. We got into the room and the nurse warned us before getting started that 50% of the time they are unable to see or> hear the heartbeat. I was a little discouraged to hear that, but she quickly said that it doesn't mean there's not a little one there if we can't hear it. She then proceeded to get started. A little round thing came up on the screen and she said, there's one sac. She looked around a little more, but that was the only one. She then focused in on that one and all of a sudden you could see the little small rectangular looking white blip on the screen. It was pulsating. She said, there's the heartbeat. It was so amazing. Then she said, let's see if we can hear it. And all of a sudden it was like whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. I was very teary eyed. It was so awesome, I was trying not to cry. Then she said that the baby's heartbeat is 117 and measuring at 6 weeks 2 days. She said it's the size of a grain of rice right now. Then she said, do you want to hear the heartbeat again. Of course. :) Words just do not express the feeling you get when you get to see and hear the heartbeat.

It's really coming true. All the hard work, research, pain, tears, struggles, financial struggles (that one should be capitalized by golly)..........all of it is so very worth it. I'm just being bombarded with all kinds of emotions right now. And realizing that this is so real. I could sit around and feel sorry for myself that I'm unable to carry my baby, but I'm not going to. I am just so thankful that I found the most perfect awesome person to carry it for me. What a blessing! Jenn will never know how grateful I am for her taking care of our little precious one. As I'm sitting here in tears, I want to thank you Jenn!! You're awesome! SNIFF SNIFF

Tomorrow's Appt

This is Jenn - the nervous surrogate!

Tomorrow is finally our ultrasound day, and even tho I know I shouldn't be, I'm nervous. I am praying that we not only see a little flutter of a heartbeat on the screen, but that the little flutter is healthy and growing right on target! And yeah, maybe my nerves have something to do with whether we see 1 flutter or 2, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

For now, please say a prayer for all of us tomorrow, and either Allison or I will update :)

09/06/09

08/30/09

Already showing!!

2nd Beta Results

This is Allison

Today's beta results were 293. Yippee. This really is happening. I don't think it has fully sank (or sunk?, who knows) in.

I just read Jenn's post about how she's feeling. I hate to hear it, but I'm so very thankful she's giving this miracle to us and suffering through. She's such a trooper! I'm hoping the quesiness goes away really soon.

U/S is scheduled for Sept 8th. :) So excited! Can't wait.....

Surviving the 1st 12 weeks :) Part 1

This is Jenn:

And so it begins...the nausea, the food peculiarities, the lack of energy and full-on exhaustion...its all here!

I wanted a nap today - and yesterday and the day before - but didn't get one. Bedtime has moved from 11PM-ish to 9-ish if I can last that long. Granted, getting up at 6:15 each morning is kicking my "used to sleeping in" butt, but still...2 or more hours difference means I am not getting much accomplished after the kids are in bed. Oh well....

Had to buy my first bit of maternity clothes...yes it is pathetic! I tend to show rather early, and this pregnancy is no different. I can't really say that I have a baby belly yet, but I do have a minor baby pooch that is causing me some trouble. All of my pants are too tight - I can zip and button them, and am fine while in an upright position. Make me sit, and I feel like I'm going to explode! So, I am now the proud owner of 1 pair of maternity capris and 3 maternity t-shirts :)

And then there is chicken...makes me want to gag just thinking about it. Not cooked chicken, but raw chicken. The smell, the look, the...gag!!! I had it on tonight's menu, but its not going to happen. I think I'll be taking what I have already defrosted to my neighbor. She had the same issue when she was pregnant with her last baby and I didn't get it. Never happened to me before...now its happening! And we eat allot of chicken in this house....not sure what I'm going to do now....except wait for the 2nd trimester and hope for the best!

And then there is the other eating issue I seem to be having. Its happened twice, so not sure if this is going to be another "thing" for a bit, or if it was just a fluke - I'll have to get back to you on that. But, the problem you ask? I have a craving for something, sounds super yummy and I cannot let it go; I get it; then I don't want it...anywhere near me. I am suddenly ill and hoping to not lose my stomach's contents in public!

Fun times :)

And I wouldn't trade them for the world!!!! I am so glad to be here and am so not complaining. Just sharing experiences and asking for some prayers :) We're just at the beginning so there's no telling what lies ahead...but I bet its gonna be good!

The call we've all been waiting on.....

This is Allison

or at least the call that me, Doug, Jenn and Michael have been waiting on. And the beta is.......131. SIGH. :) Barb called me at work around 10:30'ish, 11. She said you know the doctors like the beta to be above 50, but I really like it to be above 100. She said yours is 131. YAY!!!! I was so happy. She was telling me the meds that Jenn will change to or take in addition to, etc. To be honest, I really didn't even pay attention to that. Then she said that we need to schedule the U/S. It's 9-8 at 11:30. I can't wait!!! Then she said that she was sure we had one little one in there growing, but not sure about two. She said we really wouldn't know until the U/S. But, her guess is 1. BUT....she did say the beta number doesn't "always" tell whether it's 1 or 2. Normally, but not always. Anyways, I held up during the conversation until she said, go tell Doug he's gonna be a Daddy. I lost it!!!

I truly do want twins. I grew up as an only child and I really wanted to have more than 1. But, we just want whatever we have to be healthy. That is THE most important thing.

I can't wait to hear the heartbeat/heartbeats in two weeks. How exciting. That will truly be an amazing moment. We've waited so long for this to happen and we're both shocked and thrilled and excited. I love it when Doug just randomly says "we're gonna have a baby". It just makes me smile so big.

I've attached a photo that Jenn and Michael took for us. Have I mentioned how glad I am that Jenn's carrying my little bun in her oven????

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I feel like I say that on almost every post, but I truly mean it. Without the support and prayers for everyone along the way, it would have been a much tougher journey. AND it's not over yet. Thanks for sharing it with us!!!

Waiting on Tomorrow

This is Allison ~

Did anyone ever say this ride was gonna be easy? Nope, no they didn't. They were absolutely right. It's easy taking care of all of the steps up until this point. But the waiting, ugh......will seriously make you nuts.

I'm going to be on pins and needles at work tomorrow waiting for that call. The clinic wants the beta to be 50 or above. (Have I already said that in a previous blog?) So, just hoping and praying......I think we definitely have a little bean growing. I was so hoping for two, but thinking now it's only one.

We'll see.........

Help...I've Become Neurotic!!

I can't stop testing...

7dp5dt - Woohoo!

They are getting darker!
(and yes, it is definitely darker; iPhone camera doesn't do the pink lines justice!)

6dp5dt - Part 2

This is the 2nd faint positive that Allison talking about :)
(I know it doesn't look very positive, but if I had a better camera than my iPhone camera, you'd be able to see what I see, which is a faint pink line on the left side - darker than this morning's test for sure!)

I like Roller Coasters......

This is Allison

but this one is the biggest one I've ever been on. Seriously, this testing stuff will make any sane person absolutely certifiably insane. Just come take me away to a padded cell. Like one girl said, the crap with the frozen embryos, freeze me till the beta test. :)

My stomach has been tore up since about Wednesday. My nerves are shot. I'm sure my blood pressure is through the roof. My sanity is on the verge of jumping off the ledge. So much up and down.

Just trying to hold on through this crazy whirlwind of emotions. Now that Jenn has had two faint positives. Everyone says they see it, but I'm not sure I'm really seeing it. It does make me feel better though. BUT, I just don't want to get my hopes WAY up and then it be negative. I'm trying to stay somewhere in the happy middle.

Thanks to everyone for the support and prayers. We have so much support and it makes this journey easier by having that.

Until next time.....I'm holding on tight

6dp5dt

This is Jenn and there is lots happening to me today:

For starters, I did another HPT at 7AM this morning after not getting up to pee AT ALL last night, and this was the result. Its a very, very faint positive :) The circle on the left...the minus sign means negative, but the little verticle line that is very faint - that's a positive! Its hard to see in the picture, but Michael even verified that he saw it!

I have since been instructed not to use EPT since its not as sensitive as Answer & First Response, so I've already run to the pharmacy for a box of each :) Cross your fingers for us everyone!! The positives need to get darker!!!

Then, this afternoon, I started spotting. Of course I freaked out, even though a surro friend had already told me this was considered "normal", but still blood and pregnancy aren't usually a good thing, so I panicked. Talked to the IVF nurse that said it was indeed normal, and it could actually signal a good thing since that means that something is, at least, trying to attach to my uterus :) Another good sign? I certainly hope so!!!

Michael is convinced I'm pregnant, and if things continue on this path, we should have some really good news at Monday's BETA!!!

Because Allison Said I Should Share :)

This is Jenn (again):

Funny thing about these hormones...

I know this will sound utterly ridiculous, considering the HPT results I got earlier today, but my belly is getting big! I've been wondering if its just my imagination, but apparently my pants would agree with my assessment!!

Today I had to run an errand to meet Michael to handle some personal business, so I put on my usually comfy capris. Holy schnikies Batman! I thought I was going to die...they were so stinking tight I could hardly breath, could not sit comfortably, and wanted to undo the button & zipper right there in the middle of the bank! When I got home, I couldn't get them off fast enough, then noticed the dark red line around my mid-section.

And now I'm worried...if I'm not actually pregnant & slightly bloated, I'm going to have to go on a diet...and that just isn't in my plans for this fall!! Geez!!!

4dp Update

This is Jenn, and this will be short & sweet:

...4dp5dt...

...2 HPTs...

...2 negatives...

...Will test again tomorrow...

...Praying that its just too early :(

*4dp5dt = 4 days past a 5 day embryo transfer

Amazing

This is Allison~

Wow, what a truly amazing experience. It was so awesome to see what the dr was doing on the U/S monitor. Right before she released the embryos, she counted. 1, 2, 3....then we saw a little white dot on the screen. That was them. Our two embryos they implanted. I got choked up. I especially got choked up when I heard CJ praying in the background and afterwards. I got choked up when they handed me the embie pic and then the U/S pic of after the transfer. I really almost lost it when the dr was shaking my hand and telling me good luck, hoping for great results, etc. It felt like she talked to me and shook my hand for at least 5 minutes, but I know it wasn't. It was just so special, the whole thing.

If Doug would let me post this one pic of us both holding the pictures, you would get a wonderful laugh. If you don't know already, Doug is not big on emotion. :) So, we have named that pic as Doug's Mug Shot. I'm all smiles and he's holding his pic at his chest and he looks like he's prisoner #2021. He's not smiling or frowning, just looking like he's just been hit by a train. Anyways, we got a good kick out of it.

I spent most of the day at Jenn's today. Her hubby cooked burgers and hot dogs. I did all the fixings, etc. It was a fun day. We just chilled out, talked, etc. I know she's sick of laying around. It gets old after a while. But it's all worth it. It's almost over - the bedrest that is.

Now the fun part. Yea, right, I'm joking. The waiting is going to drive us crazy. I think Jenn is going to do her first HPT sometime on Wednesday. I may need some valium.

Until later.....

Oh, thanks everyone for the comments and prayers! They truly mean so much. It's so awesome that people that we don't even know care about this journey. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support. It means everything......

All Knocked Up...

....and no place to go!

This is Jenn:

Just wanted to give you an update on the morning's events! As Allison mentioned, we had our transfer scheduled for this morning at 9AM, so we were all there...at 8:30. They first took Allison back to discuss the embryo report, then brought the rest of us back a minute or 2 later to re-discuss the embryo report :) In Dr. M's words, they had 1 over achiever (that made it to the "blast" stage) and 3 really strong embies. So, we all agreed to transfer 2, allowing the embryologist to pick the strongest of the 3 to be part of the big day. I have a picture of Allison & Doug and their 2 sweet little babies, but Doug was insistent that I not post his picture, so I'll post a few of me & Allison, and a cropped photo of Doug holding the picture of the embabies that I am now playing hostess to for the next 9 months.

So, I am now on bed rest for the rest of today, and all day tomorrow, and hope to take advantage of getting to rest and do allot of nothing :)

I'm sure I'll have to more to report later. For now, enjoy the photos :)

Twas the night before transfer.....

This is Allison~

and all through the house
everyone was nervous
even my spouse

Ok, I'm done, I'm not a good rhymer. :) But it was funny while it lasted huh? Well, tomorrow is the the BIG DAY. My stomach is in knots. I'm very nervous and have feelings of anxiety. It's almost that same feeling as when you're little and Christmas is coming. But it's even more nerve wracking. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it, but it's hard. This is all that has been on my mind since over a year ago. This is what I've been living and breathing every day for over a year. How do you "not" think about it. :)

I had a great time with Jenn today. We all had lunch first. Then Jenn and I went out and got some groceries and got some gift cards for a couple of places to eat so Michael doesn't have to cook this weekend while she's on bedrest. So, hopefully they have everything they need so she can be comfortable and not worry about things. She'll be on bedrest the remainder of the day tomorrow and then all day Sunday. I hope she enjoys the time to just chill out and relax. :)

Well, we've done everything we could up until this point. It's out of our hands. We just have to have faith at this point that it works and that whatever God's will is will be the outcome. I know some people don't believe in "God's will", etc, but I really do. Sometimes things are just not meant to be. I hope this journey for us IS though. I have to believe that until proven wrong otherwise. One of the hardest things to do is to give up control of something. We have absolutely no control whatsoever. We have done all that we can do right now. But by golly, that doesn't mean I'm not nervous as all get out. I just want it to work. I wanna be a Mommy and I want Doug to be a Daddy. I have to believe it's going to happen. If I didn't believe, what good is faith?

At this point, I think I'm just rambling. :) Tomorrow is going to be an interesting morning. Jenn and I have all of our stuff ready go to. We are wearing the same yellow good luck shirts that I bought us, wearing the same green/yellow socks that Jenn bought us and wearing the same green/yellow bracelets that a friend made for us. We'll be so cute. :) Also I've got my camera ready. If any of you know me, you know I am not a camera person. I've had to pull out my instruction book to even figure out what to do with it. I know, pathetic. But I'm getting there.

I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.......heading to bed in a little while, hoping that I don't toss and turn like I have for the last 4 nights.

Over and out....

Day 3 Update

This is Jenn:

Just wanted to let you all know that we received our phone calls this morning, and our transfer has been moved to Saturday! We were all very excited to hear that we still have 4 beautiful little babies growing right along :)

So, since I've been up since 2:30 this morning, have had all my meds & shots, have unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, am finishing up the last of the laundry for the week, and am fairly wired, I'm trying to come up with something that I can go do with the kiddos that doesn't require an "entrance fee". I'm ready to get away from the house...primarily because if we aren't here, it can't get messed up :)

Fert Report is in

This is Allison~

I got a call from Barb today letting me know how many fertilized. They originally retrieved 16. Out of those 16, only 8 were mature. Out of those 8, only 4 made it through the fertilization process. So, now those four little embies are growing. When I really sit and think about it, our little potential babies are growing and it really hits me.......please Lord let your will be done and sustain the ones that should be sustained. I know it only takes one good one, but I would be over the moon if we were able to transfer 2 excellent embryos into Jenn. That would be my hope. We'll just see.....

We are on the schedule for a Thursday transfer. Even though, we could get a call Thursday morning saying they are going to wait and do a 5 day transfer, which would be Saturday. We just wait and see and just stay "on call". I guess they go by how the embryos are developing and whether they will get to the blast stage.

So, just some more waiting.......:)

I think the 2 week wait will make me go gray!

Update on the Booty :)

This is Jenn:

So, yesterday was my first PIO shot (better known as projesterone in oil). I've been really dreading this one, since its a booger. I have friends that have had this shot, and had lots of pain, swelling, and problems. The nurse even did her best to completely freak me out by telling me all of the possible problems I could have. Thanks, but seriously, I really didn't need to hear all of the negatives!

Ok, the details: This shot is given the upper, outer quadrant of the buttocks, or booty I as call it :) The needle is about a hundred feet long, and thicker than a straw, and the oil that is injected is just that...oil. It doesn't just dissipate into the muscle it is injected into, and it doesn't inject quickly. Oh, and did I mention it goes into the booty muscle?!? Yeah, loads of fun people!!

And OK, maybe its not thicker than a straw, but seriously, its big! Really, really big when you are needle-phobe :(

And in case you are wondering, the needle-phobe is not me...its the one giving the shot in my booty, Michael. He does not like needles....AT ALL! In fact, when we were at the doctor's office for our med teaching visit (where she goes over each med, how & when to take it, how to give the injections, etc.), she whipped out the needle for the PIO shot and Michael almost fainted! She noticed him turning very pale and quicly put it away :) So, how did I end up with him giving me the shots, you ask? Simple...I cannot give them to myself, and no one else can do it for me. It was him, or I'd be making a trip to a nurse-friend's house each & every night for the next 12 weeks - no thanks!

So anyway, back to my story.... Sunday was the first injection; on Saturday I was sitting and thinking about the logistics of it...the fact that it needs to be given around the same time each day...that morning would be better than evening because I can sit on heat througout the day, and moving around will help the oil to absorb slight faster than just shooting up and going to bed for 8 hours. And I suddenly realized that Michael was my only hope - and I got scared. He wasn't thrilled about it either, but after I explained the potential problems of doing it at night, he agreed that a morning shot would definitely be better. Thankfully, one of my other nurse-friends had a "practice butt" that she loaned us to practice on. Tho it is nothing like the real thing, it gave Michael something to use while trying to get the injection pressure just right. When I explained to him that he couldn't just slowly press it into the skin & into the muscle (because that would just really, really hurt), he quickly figured out that this wasn't as easy it might sound. So guess what we spent our Saturday evening doing? Yep, sitting on the bed, playing with needles :)

Sunday morning rolled around and I slept in - or really layed in, since I wasn't really asleep, but wasn't in a big hurry to be impaled. We had someplace to be yesterday, but I was procrastinating. I went to bed dreading the shot, and woke up really dreading the shot. I was scared...plain & simple!

But, wouldn't you be?
(I am trying to insert a picture here, but Blogger is having some trouble, apparently!)

Anyway, after putzing around for about 15 minutes, I finally decided that it was now or never.

We figured that laying flat on the bed would be the most comfortable way to do the injection, since the muscle would be relaxed. I read the directions to Michael, step-by-step, while he very intently filled the syringe to 1/2 cc, rubbed the alcohol swab on my posterior, changed out the needle (it is drawn up through a straw-sized needle, but injected with something slight smaller - emphasis on the word slightly), stretched the skin taught, and counted to 3. I, on the other hand, had my face buried in my pillow, praying that I could lay perfectly still and not squeal.

1...2...3...stab. It was in, and I hardly felt it! I quickly reminded him to asperate (pull up on the syringe just slightly to be sure there was no blood - which would indicate he hit a vein), and then he began injecting...very, very slowly. And then, it was over. He quickly rubbed the spot for a few minutes, applying the necessary pressure, then informed me that he was going to go throw up.

But it was done! He survived it, I survived it, and neither of us passed out :)

Now, only 12 more weeks to go!!!

*Michael did not throw up, by the way. He was my Superman and did a great job!!

ER today

This is Allison~
Well, my part is over. The ER was this morning at 9:15. I was back in the recovery room by 9:35. Everything went fine. It didn't even feel like I was really under, but I'm assuming I was. This same anesthesiologist did my cyst aspiration back in March, so I remembered him. I remember as he said, I'm going to give you some sleepy juice.....I asked, where are you from with your accent? He replied....the Congo. LOL, I have no idea what else he said, I guess I went out.

When I went for my U/S Saturday morning, Dr McKenzie said she only expected to get around maybe 8-9 eggs. That had me a little worried. You hear of people having 20+ a lot of times. Of course those are young girls, I'm on up there at 37. But it still had me a little concerned and I think she could tell that. As she walked out of the room that morning she said, remember, it only takes one good one. That made me feel some better, because that is true.

Well, as I was coming out of the anesthesia this morning, she told me......we got more eggs than we thought we would. We got 16. As she was walking off, tears started falling down my face. I don't think anyone saw me thank goodness because I probably wouldn't have been able to even speak. I'm just so thankful. I'm not saying I necessarily want tons left over, but I want to be able to have the best chances at success as we can. I would love to be able to transfer 2 excellent grade embryos. That would be so good.

Anyways, I got home around 10:30 or so and was feeling fine. Ate lunch and then took a long nap. When I woke up, I was feeling quite crampy, still no bleeding though. It's not "real" bad, just like a crampy cycle. Just taking it easy and catching up on DVR'ed TV. :)

So, now we wait. Thursday would be a 3 day transfer or Saturday would be a 5 day. Guess we just wait on the call at this point. I'm so thrilled to be at this point.

Please Lord let this work and be successful. I want to be a mommy!

Please continue to lift us up. I'm hoping Jenn will post soon about her PIO shots. :)

Trigger Tonight

This is Allison~
YAY, trigger it tonight at 10:45. ER will be Monday morning at 9:15. I'm so glad to be at this point again. But this time feels right and good. Last time there were so many delays and struggles, this time has really just been smooth sailing. But I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but I have to believe this is going to work.

Heading over to a friend's tonight so she can inject me in the booty. Thank goodness for knowing a good nurse. :)

Wednesday's appt

This is Allison ~
Well, another good appointment. The dr said my right ovary is responding very well, but the left is not doing as well, but still good. He was happy with that though. He said my numbers are looking so good that I could be triggering early. Last cycle I triggered on Tuesday, he said this time could be as early as Saturday!!! Wow!!! I'm getting so excited and so is Jenn and so are a bunch of others. Yippee, it's just around the corner.

My next appt is tomorrow morning. Doug also goes in for his FDA testing as well.

Short & Sweet - in Bullet Points ;)

~ This is Jenn

~ Allison & I both had our appointments today, then I had acupuncture.

~ Good news for both of us...she is right on track hormonally...and so am I :)

~ If all goes as planned, Allison will trigger a week from today, ER will happen 2 days later...AND THEN...

~ We will transfer our little embabies on either Sunday morning or Tuesday afternoon...2 weeks from today people!!!

~ Keep the prayers coming...we're sooooooo close!!!

3rd time is the charm

This is Allison ~

Today is only the 3rd day of my additional injections that were added on Saturday. I take Gonal-F in the morning and Menopur and Lupron at night. I'm back into the swing of things with the Menopur, but not quite with the Gonal-F. From what I've heard, most people take the Gonal in pen form - pull the end off, screw on a small needle, prime the pen, turn the clicker to 225 ml, pull back on the pen, inject, push the end and the medicine goes in. Well, last cycle, I didn't have the pens, I just had vials that I withdrew from. This time I do have the pens. So, I'm not quite used to the routine. Again, just my 3rd morning doing it (ok, you would think I would know what to do by now right? can you see where this is headed?). Plus, the previous two days that I gave myself the shot, it was Sat and Sun......ie, no where to go, didn't have to rush, etc.

Not so much today. I had decided this morning as I was watching Big Brother that I would give myself the shot before I went back to the bedroom to finish getting ready. I normally start getting ready around 5:50...well, this morning I was trying to get to the end of Big Brother, so I kept watching and farting around wasting time. Finally I got up and went to get the injection ready. Here's the scenario just as it happened..............

Prime pen
Stick needle in belly - look down and realize, holy crap, I didn't change the clicker to 225 ml
Pull needle out
Change needle
Change clicker to 225
Stick needle in belly - look down and realize, holy crap, I didn't pull back on the nob
Pull needle out
Change needle
Pull back on nob
Insert needle
FINALLY PUSH TO INSERT MEDS INTO MY BELLY

Seriously, what is wrong with me? I thought I was starting to lose it. Now I'm running late and all flustered and can't believe I stuck myself twice for no reason. Whew.......at least it didn't hurt. Oh well, guess you have to laugh at yourself sometimes during this process.

I have my 2nd appointment tomorrow, not sure if I will have U/S or not, but definitely labs. I'm expecting great results.

I'm feeling good about things..........

I'm good!

This is Jenn:

Yep, got the results of my lab work and ultrasound today - all is well with the surrogate!! I'm exactly where I should be :) Woohoo!! Next appointments are Tuesday for both Allison & I. We'll keep ya posted, I promise!

Well whadda ya know?

This is Allison ~

I had my first U/S and labs this morning since starting back on meds. I have been feeling that things were going to be good this time. I don't know if it's the acupuncture that gave me that feeling or if it was all in my head, but I've felt like things were going to be good. But as I got closer and closer to the clinic, I started feeling nervous. The dr came in and did my U/S and said that my lining was 3.8, which is good. He said I had a few follicles on both ovaries. My left ovary apparently was trying to hide because he was having a hard time finding it. OUCHIE!!!!! Also, NO CYSTS. Woohoo!!!!!

After the U/S came the bloodwork, then off to work. At lunch I was wondering when I would hear from the nurse about the results. As I was on the elevator coming back from lunch, my phone started vibrating. I looked down and it said Houston IVF. My heart starting beating so fast. I was almost scared to answer. I got off the elevator and answered. She said, everything looks good to go!!! I almost cried. I was like...are you serious? She said my estrogen was right where it should be. Holy Cow.

So, I now start my Menopur and Gonal-F on Saturday. My next U/S and labs will be Tuesday morning. If everything is good, I will probably have another appt that week as well. Then Doug will have his FDA labs done. If things are on track, the egg retrieval will be that next week, then the transfer 3 or 5 days later. So, we could be looking at a transfer date of 16th, 17th or 18th or somewhere in there.

Wow, this is really happening. I'm so darn excited!!!! The show is on the road folks.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers everyone.....

Voodoo Hippy stuff

This is Allison

Yes, this is what Doug said about my idea to try acupuncture for him, me and Jenn. He thinks we're all crazy (well, it's debatable, but that's beside the point) and that it's all voodoo hoodoo, quacky crazy stuff. Well, to be honest, I have no idea. I don't know enough about it to even have an opinion. MY point is that if there's a possibility that it could make a difference, I'm all for it. If there is anything I can do to make this dream a reality, I'm on board. So, here we are.

I do think the acupuncture appointment was very relaxing. I just closed my eyes and let myself experience whatever it was that was going on. It sounds like Sheri put needles on me in the same spots as she did Jenn. The only one that I had to say "ouch" to was one that went in my ear. She put 2 in each ear, but only one hurt for a second. Mostly you don't feel the needles, if you do, it's just a little prick, not much at all. Once she was done, she left the room and like Jenn said, put on some relaxing music for about 30 minutes. I laid there with my mouth closed (for those who don't know - I am a mouth breather - when I sleep at night, it's wide open trying to catch flies or whatever, or Doug would say peeling the paint off the ceiling) and was just breathing. I was wondering when my mouth would open since I was relaxing more and more. Well, unless I was asleep, I don't think it ever opened. Which is WAY weird because I kept expecting it to open. (I have no clue why I'm saying all this - other than it was just odd to me) About half way through my 30 minutes of relaxing, I heard Doug ask her where the restroom was. She said, through there, you can go through. So, he opened the curtain and walked by me. I kept my eyes closed the whole time. I knew when he saw me that he was thinking it looked weird. Laying very still, eyes closed, needles everywhere. It was so hard not to laugh. I was thinking....I'm going to scare him when he comes back through. So, as I heard him walking through, I opened my eyes REALLY wide.....and he looked at me. It was so funny, I almost busted out laughing. Later on he said, you looked so weird laying there. HA

Well, after that little episode, I got back to just laying there. Then I started thinking......am I snoring? Seriously, I couldn't tell if I was in a light sleep or not. Who knows. I asked Doug if he heard me snoring and he said no, but he had his ipod on so how would he hear me??? I should have asked Sheri.

Oh well, there ya go for my first acupuncture visit. We have our 2nd appt this Saturday. Doug really did not want to do this at all. I mean, really did not. I had to do quite a bit of begging and a little crying (kidding, kinda) to get him to say yes. So, I really owe him for agreeing to do it. I know he hates it and doesn't believe in it and just doesn't like this kind of thing. But hey, taking one for the team sometimes isn't the funnest (is that a word) thing in the world. But I love him for it and for doing it for us. I'm just so thankful he hasn't spewed any awful verbal language in front of her. Whew

I started my Lupron and Dexamethasone Monday. My last BCP was last night. My first scan and bloodwork is next Wednesday. Please Lord, let my levels be good this time. If you don't remember, my estrogen and progesterone weren't cooperating last time for about a 4 week period. Hopefully this time we will be right on track and no delays.

Until next time.......

Relax

This is Jenn:

Ever wonder what it feels like to have a needle stuck into the top of your head? How about the little crease in between your big toe and the one next to it (what's the called, the pointer toe?). And all over your abdomen, a few in the arm & hand, and, oh yes, my favorite, in your ears?

The special appointment that Allison referred to in her previous post was acupuncture. And yes, Allison, Doug & I all went to our first appointment on Saturday, and it was very enlightening. And VERY relaxing - yes, even the one in the head! I was truly surprised by how much it didn't hurt - well except for the ears, and she warned me about them before she did it, then waited to see if the stinging would stop - and it did :)

Before going in, I had it all figured out in my mind - I would go in, lay down with my ear buds in my ears so that I could tune out the world - and the fact that Sheri was pushing little needles into my skin, all over my body - and focus on my music. Yeah, didn't happen! We chatted, she told me to lay back, and she started, all while continuing to chat. I was shocked at how fast it all went, and when she was done, she turned out the light, turned on some calming "music" and left the room. And.I.dozed.off! I think I actually took a few minutes' nap :)

And then it was over - until tomorrow when I go in for my 2nd appointment!

The reason? Research has shown great improvement in assisted reproduction (IVF) and infertility treatments when acupuncture is involved. Dramatic improvements actually! It increases blood flow throughout the body, causes the uterus to relax more (especially when you do a treatment directly after transfer, which we are planning to do), reduces the chance of miscarriage or rejection of the embabies, increases ovarian production (egg-making) in egg donors and intended mothers, "swimmer" motility for intended fathers, etc. So, with a recommendation from a surro friend who is currently preggo with twin girls (after having a failed chemical pregnancy about a year ago), we decided to give it a try! Why not? If it will only improve our chances for pregnancy on the 1st try, then we'll do whatever it takes, right guys???

More to come...stay tuned! We're getting closer to our transfer date...first appointments for suppression checks and lining checks next week - woohoo!!! Keep the prayers coming!!!!

Thursday update

This is Allison

Doug and I went to HIVF today to re-sign our consents. Like Jenn said on Tuesday, they have to be current, which is within 6 months. So muuuuccccchhhh signing. It is comparable to doing the paperwork for getting a mortgage. Fun stuff.

I'm so excited to start meds. I start Monday with Lupron and Dexamethasone. Crap, as I'm writing this, I'm just wondering when Doug is supposed to start his Doxycycline. I wonder if it was this past Monday? Oh dear.......ugh, I'll have to e-mail the nurse. Now I feel sick, but I'm sure it won't hurt anything if it was supposed to be Monday. I don't remember her telling me when he should start. SIGHHHH

Ok, now I'm all worked up and I need to e-mail her.

Oh, we're going for some special appointments Saturday. We'll probably update you soon about that.

Tuesday Update

This is Jenn:

Michael & I went for our labs today; he didn't' faint, or even almost faint this time :) And, before he jumps me for saying that, I should clarify that he didn't faint the last time either - just almost! I'm so proud!! Labs were done more than 6 months ago, so that's why we had to have them done again. This isn't a good thing when you are a needle-phobe like my sweet DH. But, they are testing for communicable diseases...I'm pretty sure that since we didn't have any last time, we're still good, but the FDA is so picky about this sort of thing! Although, I hope I didn't inadvertently pick something up from drinking out of the stray water bottle that was left on the table in the waiting room today! (yes, I picked it up, took a big drink, put the lid back on, then almost lost it when I realized that I didn't bring my water bottle inside with me!!!)

And, on the injectional front (don't think that's a word is it?), I'd like to say that 2 days of Lupron shots have resulted in no headaches!

I probably just jinxed myself, huh? Where's the Tylenol...

Got some meds today

This is Allison -

Well, we're gearing up for Round 2 of meds. I received my Lupron and trigger shot today. It's making it seem more real. Jenn will be starting hers tomorrow. Woohoo! Hopefully we're going to be on track this time and get this show rolling.

I had dinner last night with Jenn and Michael and two other couples. We had a great time. One of the girls is pregnant with twins for the other couple. I hate to say it, but I was feeling a little jealous. I just want it to be us. I don't want to seem greedy though. I have never had the feelings of some women that I read about......about not being able to go to baby showers, getting worked up around others who have children, etc. I really don't know why I don't have those feelings, but the feeling of a little jealousy came over me a little last night. I just want it to be my turn. :) I'm just excited and am just praying this all works out right and we end up with a little munchkin or two. :)

Anyways.....hopefully our blog will become a little more exciting in the next few days, weeks, etc. Being in that limbo the last couple of months has been so yucky. Waiting is just so hard to do. But once you get where you were waiting on....it doesn't seem that long.

Thanks for everyone's prayers and we'll update as things happen.

Over and out......

Operation Baby Obert - take 2

This is Jenn:

We got official word today that I will be starting my med calendar the week of July 12th, Allison will follow-suit the week of July 19th :) Egg retrieval will be the week of the 9th, and Embryo transfer will happen around August 14th or 16th!! Woohoo!!! Progress feels good :)

Surrogacy = Hurry Up and Wait!

This is Jenn :)

A year ago, when I initially thought about being a GS, had someone told me, "You'll spend most of your surro journey waiting", I think I would have laughed and not taken them very seriously. But I was thinking about it today: Allison & I met almost a year ago, and I think 85% of the last 11 months has been waiting around...not on each other, but on something that we have no control over - and it hasn't just been 1 thing! Seriously...I waited until we were both certain we wanted to build a relationship together...we had to wait for my testing to be completed and to get the green light...we had to wait on the attorney and the contract...wait on the court date...wait on the PBO...wait for our calendars...wait for hormones to level out...wait for the "virus"...and now we are waiting on calendars again! Uuuggghhh!!!!!

And you know the best part about all of this? We are in such a hurry to get our calendars so that that we can...wait to get to the transfer, so that we can....wait to do a home pregnancy test because we are too impatient to...wait for BETA's (the blood test they do to see if you are pregnant), only to...wait for an U/S to see how many babies there are in my "rented womb"...then wait another 7-8 months to meet the baby or babies face to face!

Just shoot me now....

Finally!!!!

It's Jenn :)

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus! We finally heard from the IVF clinic and Doug's blood work came back negative for the virus! We are finally cleared and ready to go again. Now we have to wait for our calendars, but hopefully those will be ready sooner than later :)

Thank you all for your prayers!!! These last 3 months have been an emotional roller coaster for all of us, but we knew that God had it all in His hands! God is Good, ALL THE TIME!!!

Get your prayers started up again.........

This is Allison ~

Doug's next lab draw is this Friday around noon. Please start sending up prayers for us.

I wanted to let everyone know that we read every comment on here and appreciate so much the prayers and thoughts and comments from everyone. It really makes me feel special that so many people care. And so many of you, I don't even know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Jenn or I one will post with the results mid week next week. Oh, I am so hoping for good news this time. :)

Same News, Different Day

This is Allison

Guess what? He's still positive for the virus. Patience is wearing thin. :(

Re-Re-Retesting Tomorrow

This is Allison

Please add Doug to your prayer list for positive results. We're praying this time is it!!!

Having nothing to do with surrogacy....

I just have to say that when I began this journey, my hope was to find a couple that not only wanted a child/children, but would also want a family to become a part of theirs - since I am a mommy, my husband & kiddos would be a package deal, and that was non-negotiable!

What we have found in Allison & Doug are not only great friends, but they have truly become adopted family. They fit seamlessly into our daily lives, and I love that about them. We can go to dinner and laugh for hours about stupid stuff (thin cheeks!), we can stress-out together over the things we have no control over (CMV), and we can simply call in a favor and have it met without any hesitation (have I said thank you?). Prayers are a daily occurrence for all of us - for personal things and for surrogacy-related things too! We give each other a hard time, joke with each other as only family would, and offer our shoulders when a tear needs to be shed.

Yes, I have not only found a great friend, I have a new sister to love :)

Well, guess what......

This is Allison

he's still positive for the virus. UGH. It's pretty disappointing. It seems we've had delay after delay for one reason or another. But I know that I need to keep believing that it's going to be in God's time and not ours. There's some reason this keeps happening and although I have no idea why, I'm trusting that it's the right thing.

So.......until then. He goes back for re-re-re testing on May 29th. Until then, storm the heavens.

Tomorrow

This is Allison

Tomorrow Doug goes back for re-testing. We're praying he is virus free and that we're ready to get going again. When the egg retrieval was cancelled, I was depressed, frustrated, upset, whatever you want to call it.....for a couple of days probably. Once I was over it, I really haven't thought much about things. I guess it was my way of trying not to think about so I didn't drive myself crazy. But since about the beginning of this week, I've been getting emotional again. By emotional, I'm meaning....excited, anticipating and just wanting to get started on the meds again. I know Jenn's ready to get knocked up too. :)

Anyways, please send up a few extra prayers. I'm guessing we won't hear about the results until next Wednesday or Thursday.

The results are in......

This is Allison

and his count is just right above where it needs to be. Darnit. Oh well, I guess it worked out ok because I've been terribly sick this whole week with a urinary tract/kidney infection. Horrible, horrible, but I'm on the mend.

Doug has an appt to go back on May 1st for his re-re-testing. :) The doctor is pretty positive that his count will be where it needs to be. Please keep praying for us that this is the time. I'm keeping positive thoughts that we're going to be back on our journey again very soon.

Hopeful

This is Allison

Well, Doug went yesterday for his "re-testing" for the CMV virus. We're all just hoping and praying that it comes back negative. I'm thinking we'll hear back either Wednesday or Thursday next week.

At this point, Jenn and I both are on BCP's. So, we're ready when he's all clear.

Jenn introduced me to another surrogate that she met through a friend of hers. We've all become really great friends through all of this. I just wanted to put it out there that her and her set of IP's will be doing their transfer next Sunday. We'll just call them "J & L".....please send up some prayers for positives for them. They all soooo deserve it!!!!

Later....

Still Waiting....

This is Allison...

It's been a while since either one of us has written, so just wanted to let everyone know that nothing is going on right now. Just till waiting on the nurse to call back and let us know when they want to re-test Doug.

Thanks for the continued prayers...

When God Speaks

Sometimes God speaks to us in the oddest of ways, but does so to get our attention. This email was sent to me by my mother-in-law, and I couldn't help but think that this was meant for Allison & I, right now. Whether you believe that prophecy is still God-given and relevant for today or not, I am not here to debate. What I can say is that I truly believe that God still cares enough to speak to us, and its not always directly to our hearts.

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns -- March 26, 2009:

Exercise patience as you remain steadfast and faithful. What you thought was a breakthrough seems to have evaporated, but I tell you the truth that it is more important than ever that you persevere. You will be tested with temptations to be disappointed and become discouraged, but you must not give up. Keep pressing through, and know that I am with you to bring you forth in victory. This is not an easy time, but you must keep the faith and continue to move forward, says the Lord.

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Wasn't expecting this call.....

This is Allison

Well, I got a call this afternoon from our Dr at the clinic telling me that we wouldn't be doing the egg retrieval tomorrow. I got a sick feeling in my stomach. He was so nice and calm and I'm sure he truly hated to have to call me. After all of the delays I've had during this whole journey...I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'm not trying to have a pity party, but it has been one road block after another. But we will overcome and get through it. This news has kind of knocked me down....but not out. It's a crushing blow to the anticipation I had in for the egg retrieval tomorrow and the transfer next week. But, it will happen. Jenn and many others have been so supportive and sweet after hearing about it. The TOSS members are way awesome and have given so many encouraging words. It's hard to make it through a journey like this without support, encouragement, faith and trust. I'm trusting that there was a reason why it's not happening right now. This specific virus that Doug has could possibly cause birth defects. So, thank God they caught it and we didn't go through with the transfer and end up with a baby that has disabilities or something wrong. When I think of that, the waiting makes it worth it and makes it a little easier.

Thanks for everyone's comments. We read all of them and are thankful for your prayers and continual support.

We Now Interrupt this Journey....

This is Jenn

I'm not sure how to start this post, other than to say that we received some bad news today that has essentially stopped our forward momentum dead in its tracks. We are stopping all meds and retrieval has been cancelled! No retrieval means no transfer :(

The short-story is that Doug, Allison's husband, tested positive the anti-bodies to the CMV virus, something that most people have from time to time, but you don't know it. Anyway, when the lab ran further testing, they discovered that not only does he carry the anti-bodies, he also has the active virus. The chances of transmitting the virus to me are very slim, but the chances of the baby getting it are very great. If the baby were to get it, the chances of birth defects are very high, so it is because of this that the IVF clinic has cancelled everything. And to add insult to injury, the doctor told Allison that this has never happened before, so they are just as shocked as we are! No one could have seen this coming...

We are all very shocked and upset, but know that this whole situation is in God's hands. Everything happens for a reason, even when we don't understand what the reason is! God's timing is perfect....even when it hurts us! I honestly don't know what else to say....all we can do is trust Him.

Doug will go in for testing every few weeks until they get a negative result, then we will start over. We don't know when that will be, but we hope sooner than later!

Please pray for all of us over the course of the next few days!

All Shot Up...

...with no place to go, except for more blood-work tomorrow :)

This is Jenn

Thought I would quickly post that Allison is a "triggered" woman! Hopefully she will post more later or tomorrow, but we're down to only days people!!! Thank you all for your prayers, and keep 'em coming!!!

Oh my goodness

This is Allison

Wow....when Jenn called me and told me what she had been through this morning with the beta test, I had to laugh. ONLY because she had the results by the time she told me. Otherwise, I probably would have fainted, thrown up or who knows what else. Soiled my drawers?? Oh wow. I could tell she had been a nervous wreck until Barb called with the confirmation that she wasn't pregnant. It's weird, because just a few months ago I had read an article of a surrogate carrying a baby to full term, then the Intended Parents having a DNA test done and finding out it was the surrogate and her husband's baby. How in the high heavens does that happen? Seriously? Whew......anyways, glad it's not a pregnancy.....at least yet. We DO want to hear those awesome words of "you're pregnant" in a few weeks. Those will be the most wonderful words to hear.

Well, just a small update on my side........I went in this morning for an U/S and labs to see what the follicles measured. I have 7 large ones (which is great) and 3 medium ones (which is till ok). After looking at the labs and the U/S results, they decided to wait one more day to see if the medium ones would grow to larger ones by keeping me on meds one more day. They want this to be as successful as it can be...as do we. So....I go back in tomorrow morning again, then I'll be doing the trigger shot tomorrow evening. I'm going to get our (mine and Jenn's) nurse friend to give me the shot. She's so sweet to do it for me. That's not saying I don't trust Dougie, but seriously, this is THE most important shot out of all of the meds. This is the one that tells the eggs to be released or something or another. It has to be done at the EXACT time the clinic tells me to do it. This is all a major timing thing. So, if I trigger at 10:30 tomorrow evening, I have to be at the clinic at 8:00am for a 9:00am retrieval. Oh my, it's really happening. I'm getting so excited and nervous and all kinds of other stuff all rolled up in one.

If the egg retrieval is Thursday, then the transfer could either be Sunday or Tuesday, depending on the quality of the embryos.

Please say extra prayers that we have good quality and everything works out just like it is supposed to.

Jenn........this is what we have been waiting for all of these months. :) Operation Baby Obert in full swing, stand by for take off!!!!! (this is what our nurse friend has named our mission - I love it!!!)

BETA before Transfer???

This is Jenn

For those of you not in the surrogacy world or the medical field, a BETA is the blood work-up they do to verify pregnancy. And yes, I had a BETA this morning, but that is not normal!

My morning started out very rough, with Morgann totally falling apart on me as I pushed her out the door for the bus while she screamed and squealed about staying home. My poor babysitter walked her onto the bus, where the bus driver pried her hands off of the babysitter! AAAHHH!!! So, not feeling like the best mommy in the world, I left for my doctor's appointment.

When I arrived my bottom barely touched the chair in the waiting room before they called me back. And there I sat for about 10 minutes, which is unusual. Anyway, the ultrasound tech walked in and began "browsing" around and measuring my uterine lining, nothing unusual there. But, she also measured a very small, round empty space right in the center of my uterus, that I didn't remember seeing before. She then told me to dress, then head to the lab for my estrogen check-up, which I did. And there I sat for another 10 minutes, wondering what the heck the hold-up was since the phlebotomist was just sitting there reading a magazine?

Shortly afterward the U/S tech came in and asked that I return to the exam room for another U/S. She said that the "blank space" she measured was a little odd, so one of the doctors wanted to check it out. "Um, OK, is that bad?" I asked. "No, not necessarily" was her response. How reassuring I thought... So, I undress and "assume the position" again, and the doctor starts the 2nd U/S. He zeros in on the "space" and begins measuring and looking and measuring and looking some more. So after about 2 minutes of this, I finally ask, "what is it that you are looking at, or for?".

"Well, this little space (and he points at the screen) looks very much like an early-stage pregnancy. How long have you been on your meds?".

Um-what?!? Huh???? I begin to panic and ask, "How would that be possible?" - you know since I've been on meds that prevent my body from doing anything its designed to do naturally, since January!!!! Oh, and lets not forget the tubaligation I had the day after Ian was born!!!

He just smiles and says, "Well, if you are pregnant, we'll be writing lots of papers about you!" And he walks out, leaving me to re-dress and stagger to the lab.

There I am greeted by a laughing nurse who says to the phlebotomist, "On top of the estrogen check, we need to do a BETA." At this stage I just look at her and say, "This isn't even slightly funny, Barb!!! This is wrong on so many levels, you just don't have any idea!!!". She just keeps laughing and says, "If it comes back positive, we're going to start calling you Mary. Its probably just a fluid sack, but we're being diligent and verifying, just to be 100% sure." And she laughs again. She also informs me that the fluid-filled area won't have any negative bearing on our transfer and that once we get the lab results for Allison & myself today, we'll be moving forward with "trigger" meds, probably beginning tomorrow. We took a few quick minutes to go over my med calendar again, then I left, still staggering a bit more and slightly pale, even though I'd been told multiple times that a pregnancy was almost impossible. It was the "almost" that had me going crazy!

So, just hours later, I got the call that said, very simply, "You aren't pregnant!" :) Can I just tell you those are the 3 most beautiful words I've heard all day!!!! But seriously, after all of this, that really is the last time I want to hear them for the next 9 months, ok????

Just Hangin' Out!

This is Jenn

We're still waiting...and its the waiting that is so stinking hard! Allison had another doctor's appointment today and was told that everything is progressing well! She will go back in on Monday morning for another ultrasound and blood work-up to verify that she is (or isn't) ready for her trigger shot. I go in on Monday too, just to be sure that the "baby's womb" is ready :)

Once she is told to "trigger", they will schedule her egg retrieval for 36 hours later, then we wait to see how many embabies we will have to work with - pray for good, strong embabies! We will then transfer 2 of them to me, and freeze whatever is left for a sibling project later on... :)

We're down to around a week or so.... Fingers (and toes) are crossed for good news on Monday :)

Good news today

This is Allison

I had my first dr appt this morning since starting the stimming meds on Saturday. It was only for bloodwork this time. My estrogen was at 121. The nurse said I was responding well to the meds. Yippee!!! It seems to finally be working. What a relief. I had some doubt in the back of my head that the nurse would call and say, well, something's wrong. I hate those doubting emotions. I go back in for an U/S and bloodwork on Friday morning. I believe they will be checking to see how many follicles I have produced, or something like that. :) She also said that she didn't see me doing my trigger shot before Sunday or Monday. Man, I'm so anxious to figure out the dates. My emotions are all over the place. I just keep thinking that Doug and I could be parents before the end of 2009. What a joy that would be!

Jenn had an appt today as well. I hope she writes about it. I miss her funny sense of humor in her writing. :) I know she'll have lots to say once she's pregnant with the Obert baby. Awww.....doesn't that sound sweet?

One of our dear friends calls it Operation Obert!!!! Baby making time!!!!

------------------------------------------

This is Jenn ~ Yes, we both received the good news today, since we both had to make a visit to the IVF clinic. I had my blood drawn AND got the joy of the ultrasound - and not on top of the tummy, if you know what I mean! Anyway, my lining should be at 7 (mm?) and my blood-estrogen level should be above 300. If this were a test, I'd be acing it :) My lining is a "beautiful, fluffy" 13.2 and my blood-estrogen level is almost 600! Yea for me!!! I will be going back in on Monday - we think - for another U/S and lab work, just to be sure nothing has drastically changed. I think I am now officially paranoid that I am going to do something wrong...

For now, we are pretty much sitting on "GO" and waiting for the trigger shot that Allison will get to stick into her booty :) Well, Doug or Jenni will get to stick into her booty :) Our problem is that we don't know when the trigger will be! This is where Allison's frustration comes into play - the fact that she cannot put a concrete date onto one of her *many spreadsheets is really bothering her, huh Allison! *you know I couldn't resist mentioning it!

I was told by our IVF nurse that once they get the right "results" from Allison's blood work-ups, they will instruct her to take her "trigger shot" which will cue the ovaries to release her eggs (I think?). Her egg retrieval (ER) will be 36 hours later, so the trigger shot has to be at a very precise time. Anyway, once they do the ER, we will count 3 more days (i.e. - if the trigger is on Sunday, then ER will be sometime on Tues, then you count Weds, Thurs, Fri). On day 3 (in this case, Friday), they will check the embabies to see how many there are and how good they are (quality-wise, not behavior-wise) and will decide whether to continue to let them grow to day 5, or to do the transfer on day 3. Apparently the more embryos there are, and the better quality they are, the longer they let them grow before selecting the 2 best for transfer, then freezing the rest for later.

It is all of this "maybe this" or "maybe that" and "possibly then" or "maybe later" stuff that has us all in a tizzy! No one can make any definite plans at this stage, because its all a very scientific guessing game. Are we having fun yet?!?

The first of many.....

This is Allison

Yesterday was the first day of my stimming meds. I'm so happy to be writing that. AH. The first one I took was the Gonal F in the morning. It's one that comes with saline in the syringe and you inject that into the powdered med. Then you withdraw it with a different syringe. This one goes in the belly. Not bad at all

The Menopur has a vial of 2 cc's of saline, but you only withdraw 1 cc into the syringe. You then inject that into the powdered med vial, you then withdraw that and inject it into another powdered vial, then withdraw that and inject it yet into another powdered med. Then you change the needle head and withdraw that full amount and inject it into your belly. Whew.......this one was a little different. It tends to go in slow and you can feel it being injected. Was a little sore afterwards, but not too bad. It definitely could be worse!!!

Yesterday was such a good day. I just felt so happy to be starting the meds. :)

I'd ask that you continue to keep both Jenn and I in your prayers. Both of us go back to the clinic on Tuesday for check ups. We're praying that all looks well.

We're so close to making babies!!!!!

Yes, Green for Go!!

This is Allison

I just want to chime in on the excitement about moving forward. I am so thrilled that my levels were on track yesterday. Whew. Glad to be off of that ride.

This morning I had to get a few cysts aspirated (drained). It wasn't bad at all. Had to be there at 7:30 and got home at 10:00. I think the procedure lasted about 15 minutes or less. Dr Hickman said it was a lot like what the egg retrieval will be like. I'm not having any cramping or any side effects and they said that I just couldn't drive today, but didn't have to total rest. Just light stuff. So, all's good. :)

So, now I am to reduce my Lupron and start the other two stimming meds on Saturday. I'm so excited.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and thank you Jenn for asking everyone to pray for me today for the procedure.

Now on to baby making!!! Woohoo!!!

Green Means Go!!!

This is Jenn:

Just wanted to quickly update you all on our latest news: Allison's estrogen was finally down to 54, so we received our green light yesterday! We are finally back on track and moving forward toward our transfer, probably around the 27th or 29th of this month!!! AAAAHHHH!!!! I am so excited :) And I know that Allison is very relieved.

Today however, Allison needs some prayers. She had to go in for a minor procedure (I will let her share if she chooses to do so), and will be down for the day resting. Nothing scary, but I would still like to ask you all to be praying for a quick recovery and a restful weekend! She has company coming in from LA (Louisianna, not Los Angeles) today, so the timing isn't the greatest, but I am hopeful she will take it easy like she is supposed to - Allison, if you are reading this...TAKE IT EASY or I will have to kick your tail, k???!!! :)

Thank you all for your prayers over the last 8 weeks! Its been a roller coaster, but God does answer prayer...His timing is perfect, even when it isn't ours!!!

I'm still alive :)

...just a little overwhelmed in my house of sickness! I've had 2 kids down for over a week sharing a fever and a goofy virus, that the doctor says is not the flu and not strep. Hmmm.....

Oh, this is Jenn, by the way!

Anyway, Allison had said something to me last week about being the one to do all of the posting lately, and quite frankly, I'm glad she has :) I haven't really had the time, energy or where-with-all to post anything of interest, and really, most of what is transpiring in our journey right now is happening with her. Trust me...I will have TONS to post when we get to the transfer, so stay tuned. Until then, blog away girlfriend :) :) :)

Remember, this is OUR blog, and everyone that is following us in the blogosphere needs to know what is going on...and obviously I haven't been the best about keeping everyone updated! Love, love, love you Allison!!!!

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a bed and a pillow that need me - nite!

Are you as tired as I am

This is Allison

to have to write again that we have to wait another week? Yep, that's right. Estrogen was down from 700 to 424, but it needs to be 77 or below. Apparently taking the 40iu of Lupron daily has made it drop significantly and surely to goodness it will be in the right range next week.

Thanks for all of the prayers, I'm hanging in there emotionally. Jenn is the greatest support in this. She encourages me constantly and steadfastly that this is all going to work out for the best and in God's timing and I truly believe that. Patience. It's a hard one to incorporate. This now puts us transferring the last week of March. :)

Couple of interesting things...

This is Allison

First thing is that I'm a big fan of As the World Turns (soap opera for those of you who don't know). I know, I know, it's silly, but I hate to admit I'm a little addicted. One of the episodes last week featured one of the girls on the show not being able to get pregnant or carry a pregnancy. Her friend offered to become her surrogate. Wow....pretty cool. The reason I think this is cool is because surrogacy is still quite hush hush out in the world. It's almost like no one wants to talk about it and just kind of keep it pushed under the rug so to speak. I am so thankful for technology in this day and age. Without it, I would not be able to try and have my own biological children, something that comes easy to many women. While I'm not sure if I would fall into only the medical category of not being able to just carry a pregnancy successfully, I may also have fertility issues. I was diagnosed with endometriosis about 10 yrs ago and underwent surgery. At that time, my doctor told me that I would probably need fertility drugs to help me become pregnant. I just think surrogacy is a miracle for a lot of us out here struggling with trying to start a family and I think it shouldn't be looked down upon since it's our only choice. And believe me, I didn't ask for this to happen to me. I would love to be able to carry my own child, but it's just not going to happen. In comes Jenn. :) My true hero and wonderful friend. So, I'm so curious to see where the soap opera takes this topic. Stay tuned. :)

Next, I forgot my darn Lupron shot this morning!!! Holy crap! Before last Thursday, I was taking one shot a day (in the evening). Now I'm taking two shots a day, one in the morning and evening. Well, I guess I was half way to work and it hit me. I almost panicked. But, I figured, I guess I will just double up when I get home this evening. Surely it didn't screw anything up. I just finished giving myself the shot a while ago and holy moly it stung this time. I guess because I injected so much, who knows. I bet I don't forget again.

Last Friday we received our PBO. Yippee!! Pre Birth Order. This is the document that shows that our contract is approved by the court and that states the birth certificate will state mine and Doug's names as the parents. How awesome. We are to present this to the hospital in order for them to process the documents and paperwork properly and to give us access to our baby/babies in the hospital. It was awesome receiving this finally. How exciting. Just another thing out of the way. This journey has been rather smooth except for my estrogen and progesterone not cooperating like we want them to.

That brings me to the next topic. Let's start praying early for my Thursday appointment. Low estrogen, low progesterone. Geez, surely this will be my week. If they are low enough, I'm assuming they'll do the cyst aspiration procedure on Friday and I will start my other meds on Saturday. Barb says that most women are on those meds for about 9-12 days. So, that puts us in the 3rd week of March. Come on ovaries, do your thing!!!!

Thanks for all of the prayers everyone.........